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It is currently Thu May 02, 2024 2:31 pm
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JOKE OF THE DAY-POINTS FOR SPIT COFFEE ON YER KEYBOARD STUFF
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jukk0u
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Location: Lynnwood and at large Joined: Wed May 1, 2013 Posts: 21329
Real Name: Vick Lagina
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My first high school football game was kinda like the first time I had sex:
I was bruised and bloody... but at least my dad came.
_________________ “Finding ‘common ground’ with the thinking of evil men is a fool’s errand” ~ Herschel Smith
"The said Constitution shall never be construed to authorize Congress to prevent the people of the United States who are peaceable citizens from keeping their own arms." ~ Samuel Adams
“A return to First Principles in a Republic is sometimes caused by simple virtues of a single man. His good example has such an influence that the good men strive to imitate him, and the wicked are ashamed to lead a life so contrary to his example. Before all else, be armed!” ~ Niccolo Machiavelli
Láodòng zhèng zhūwèi zìyóu
FJB
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Sat Dec 23, 2023 4:55 pm |
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jukk0u
Site Supporter
Location: Lynnwood and at large Joined: Wed May 1, 2013 Posts: 21329
Real Name: Vick Lagina
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_________________ “Finding ‘common ground’ with the thinking of evil men is a fool’s errand” ~ Herschel Smith
"The said Constitution shall never be construed to authorize Congress to prevent the people of the United States who are peaceable citizens from keeping their own arms." ~ Samuel Adams
“A return to First Principles in a Republic is sometimes caused by simple virtues of a single man. His good example has such an influence that the good men strive to imitate him, and the wicked are ashamed to lead a life so contrary to his example. Before all else, be armed!” ~ Niccolo Machiavelli
Láodòng zhèng zhūwèi zìyóu
FJB
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Fri Dec 29, 2023 9:11 pm |
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AR15L
Site Supporter
Location: Nampa, Idaho Joined: Thu Mar 17, 2011 Posts: 19483
Real Name: Rick
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A Woman and her boyfriend are out having drinks. While they are sitting having a good time, she starts talking about a new drink her girlfriend told her about and that he should try it. Her boyfriend replies that he likes to try new drinks so she ordered one for him. The bartender brings the drink and puts the following in front of him: 1. A salt shaker 2. A shot of Baileys and 3. A shot of Lime Juice. The boyfriend looks at all 3 items and says how do I drink this? She says first you put the salt on your tongue, next you drink the Baileys and hold it in your mouth and then you drink the lime juice. So the boyfriend puts the salt on his tongue and thinks salty but OK. Then he drinks the shot of Baileys and holds it in his mouth...smooth, rich, cool, and very pleasant. So far so good he thinks. Then he reaches for the lime juice and drinks it. Right away the sharp lime taste hits and about 2 seconds later the Baileys curdles, the 3rd second the salty curdled taste and mucous-like consistency hits and by the 4th second it feels as if he has a mouthful of nasty SNOT! This triggered is gag reflex and he's thinking he doesn't want to spit it out all over the bar, so he mans up and swallows it. He looks up at his girlfriend and says "Jesus what do you call this drink?!" She smiles and says in an evil voice it's a "Blow Job Revenge!"
_________________ ‘What’s the point of being a citizen if an illegal gets all the benefits’
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Wed Jan 10, 2024 3:03 pm |
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surevaliance
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Location: AZ Joined: Fri Aug 17, 2018 Posts: 6807
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- What do old ladies and Kel-Tec P50 have in common? - You need to lube their chambers!
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_________________ FPC member GOA member Corruptissima re publica plurimae leges.
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Sat Jan 20, 2024 4:51 am |
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cmica
Site Supporter
Location: I-5 /512 Joined: Thu Dec 8, 2011 Posts: 15237
Real Name: chris
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NSFW.... - Spoiler: show
- A nun and a monk are riding on a Camel in the desert for days. Suddenly the Camel falls over and dies.
Both panic but know that they have to accept their deaths. So the nun says to the monk "I know that we will die. So I want to tell you that I always wanted to see a naked man." The monk says "Yeah, that’s also what I always wanted."
So the monk took off his clothes and is butt naked. The nun ask him "What is that between your legs?" The monk answers "It’s a magic wand. When I put it in somewhere, new life emerges."
The nun says "Put it in the Camel, then we can ride on."
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Tue Feb 20, 2024 3:28 pm |
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AR15L
Site Supporter
Location: Nampa, Idaho Joined: Thu Mar 17, 2011 Posts: 19483
Real Name: Rick
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A married couple gave birth to a baby."....The baby grew to be 20 months old and said his first word,which was, "Grandma". An hour later, the Grandma sadly dies."...The married couple thought,it was a coincidence and didn't bat an eye." Days pass and the child points at their cat and says his second word, which is "Cat". Moments pass and their cat dies." Now the couple is suspecting that something is wrong with this child." A few days pass, and the child says his third word, which is "Grandpa". An hour later, the family gets the news that Grandpa passed away, despite being 60 years old and healthy as a horse. The couple now perplexed, have confirmed that each person's name he utters, means that person dies." Days pass, and the child now says, "Dad". So now the dad is worried and calls all his family to tell them how much he loves them and then tells his wife. The next day, Tim the neighbor dies.
_________________ ‘What’s the point of being a citizen if an illegal gets all the benefits’
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Wed Mar 06, 2024 10:16 am |
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cmica
Site Supporter
Location: I-5 /512 Joined: Thu Dec 8, 2011 Posts: 15237
Real Name: chris
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_________________
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Wed Mar 20, 2024 4:55 pm |
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AR15L
Site Supporter
Location: Nampa, Idaho Joined: Thu Mar 17, 2011 Posts: 19483
Real Name: Rick
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Attachment: 435466259_294125753728100_8556892419990604034_n.jpg
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_________________ ‘What’s the point of being a citizen if an illegal gets all the benefits’
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Fri Apr 05, 2024 5:11 am |
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jukk0u
Site Supporter
Location: Lynnwood and at large Joined: Wed May 1, 2013 Posts: 21329
Real Name: Vick Lagina
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A man is sitting next to woman who is trying to nurse her baby on a bus. The baby refuses to suck,e her breast and the mother warns: "If you don't suck, I will give it to the man next to me." The baby refuses and after twenty minutes the woman repeats the threat. The man clears his throat and says: " Look here woman, you better make up your mind; I was supposed to get off this bus six stops ago!"
_________________ “Finding ‘common ground’ with the thinking of evil men is a fool’s errand” ~ Herschel Smith
"The said Constitution shall never be construed to authorize Congress to prevent the people of the United States who are peaceable citizens from keeping their own arms." ~ Samuel Adams
“A return to First Principles in a Republic is sometimes caused by simple virtues of a single man. His good example has such an influence that the good men strive to imitate him, and the wicked are ashamed to lead a life so contrary to his example. Before all else, be armed!” ~ Niccolo Machiavelli
Láodòng zhèng zhūwèi zìyóu
FJB
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Sun Apr 14, 2024 4:29 pm |
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AR15L
Site Supporter
Location: Nampa, Idaho Joined: Thu Mar 17, 2011 Posts: 19483
Real Name: Rick
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Attachment: 438685252_348686241538534_5772016311900077281_n.jpg
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_________________ ‘What’s the point of being a citizen if an illegal gets all the benefits’
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Thu Apr 25, 2024 10:57 am |
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AR15L
Site Supporter
Location: Nampa, Idaho Joined: Thu Mar 17, 2011 Posts: 19483
Real Name: Rick
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_________________ ‘What’s the point of being a citizen if an illegal gets all the benefits’
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Fri Apr 26, 2024 5:07 am |
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