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 JOKE OF THE DAY-POINTS FOR SPIT COFFEE ON YER KEYBOARD STUFF 
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Location: East of Japan, not by much.
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Here's mine, compliments of my daughter when she was nine or ten. Just funny, not keyboard coffee spitting funny. What did the blonde say when she saw a bowl of Cheereos?
" Oh, look ! Donut seeds ! "

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Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Give a man a fishing pole, and he will drink too much beer, get tangled in fish line, hook himself in the nose casting, fall overboard, and either drown, or, go home hungry and wet. Give a man a case of dynamite, and he will feed the whole town for a year!



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PRIVACY NOTICE: Warning - any person and/or institution and/or Agent and/or Agency of any governmental structure including but not limited to the United States Federal Government also using or monitoring/using this website or any of its associated websites, you do NOT have my permission to utilize any of my profile information nor any of the content contained herein including, but not limited to my photos, and/or the comments made about my photos or any other "picture" art posted on my profile.

You are hereby notified that you are strictly prohibited from disclosing, copying, distributing, disseminating, or taking any other action against me with regard to this profile and the contents herein. The foregoing prohibitions also apply to your employee, agent, student or any personnel under your direction or control.

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Last edited by RENCORP on Thu Sep 22, 2011 5:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Thu Sep 22, 2011 5:06 pm
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Location: Olympia, WA
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From my 9 year old just the other day:

"What do Ninja's drink?
"Waaaaaataaaaaaaaa"


Thu Sep 22, 2011 5:11 pm
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Robot lie Detector . . . . . .

Dad buys a lie detector robot which slaps people when they lie.

He decides to test it at dinner. "Son where were you today?"

Son says, "At school dad."

Robot slaps the son!

"Ok, I watched a DVD at my friends house!"

"What DVD?"

"Toy story."

Robot slaps the son again!

"Ok, it was a porno!"cries the son.

"What! When I was your age I didn't know what porn was." says the dad.

Robot slaps the dad!

Mom laughs, "Ha, Ha, Ha! He's certainly your son."

Robot slaps the mom.

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Fri Sep 30, 2011 3:34 pm
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LMAO! That was pretty good.


Fri Sep 30, 2011 4:17 pm
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Real Name: Steve
:))

That was funny!

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Fri Sep 30, 2011 8:25 pm
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Real Name: Bo
hahahaha!

Too funny!


Wed Oct 12, 2011 9:31 pm
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Real Name: Walt
So, the Lone Ranger is captured by Indians and is taken to the Chief. The Chief tells Lone Ranger that they will have to kill him but since the Lone Ranger has lived an honorable life they will first grant him three wishes.

The Lone Ranger tells the Chief that he would like to speak with his faithful mount, Trigger. The wish is granted and Lone Ranger goes to talk with Trigger. As soon as the conversation is finished, Trigger takes off in full gallop to the east and returns shortly with a gorgeous brunette in the saddle. The Chief takes the brunette into his tee pee and has his way with her. When the Chief returns, he thanks the Lone Ranger and tells him he has two more wishes.

Lone Ranger says he would like to speak with Trigger again. The wish is granted and immediately after, Trigger takes off in a full gallop to the west. Trigger returns again shortly and this time there is a gorgeous blond in the saddle. The Chief takes her in his tee pee and has his way with her. The Chief emerges from the tee pee, thanks Lone Ranger and tells him that despite the two previous peace offerings they will still have to kill him. The Chief tells Lone Range he has one more wish. Lone Ranger tells the Chief he would like to talk to Trigger one more time.

Lone Ranger walks over to Trigger, looks him right in the eye eye and says, this is our last chance, listen carefully and read my lips.......


POSSE

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Mon Oct 24, 2011 10:45 pm
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There once was a lady from Kent

who farted where ever she went

She went to the fair

and dropped a few there

so They plugged up her arse with cement


Mon Oct 24, 2011 10:52 pm
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A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to San Diego?"

"Sure," answered the blonde, "do you need a lift?"
"Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be taken to the San Diego Zoo. They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me?
I'll give you $100 for your trouble."

"I'd be happy to," said the blonde. So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde's car and carefully strapped into their seat belts, and off they went.

Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of San Diego when suddenly he was horrified! There was the blonde walking down the street, holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd. With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blond. "What the hell are you doing here?" he demanded, "I gave you $100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo."

"Yes, I know you did," said the blonde,"but we had money left over so now we're going to Sea World.


Tue Oct 25, 2011 6:06 am
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There is a peculiar young Scot named McDougal, who delights to break wind in a bugle.

Otherwise, he is sane, comes in out of the rain, hardworking, kindly and Frugal.

(This is a Fart Rhyme to those who don't know)


Thu Oct 27, 2011 11:10 pm
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Real Name: Mike
An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he called his grandson to his bed Grandson I wanta you to listen to me. I wanta you to take mya 45 automatic pistol, so you will always remember me. But grandpa I really don't like guns, how about you leaving me your Rolex watch instead.

You lisina to me, some day you goin a be runna da bussiness, you goina have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a biga home and maybe a couple od bambino, some day you goina come hom and maybe finda you wife in be with another man. Whata you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, "TIMES UP"?

Image

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"For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother
" - William Shakespeare


Fri Oct 28, 2011 6:53 am
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and for Limerick Lovers:

There once was a young man from Boston
Who had a shiny red Austin

He had room for his ass
and a gallon of gas

But his "jewells" hung out and he lost em :shock:

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"For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother
" - William Shakespeare


Fri Oct 28, 2011 6:56 am
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Location: East of Japan, not by much.
Joined: Fri Jun 3, 2011
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Okay, limerick time it is: There was a young man from Locket,
Who stuck his dick in a socket,
He said with a grin, " When I plug it in,
I should go off like a rocket"

_________________
Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Give a man a fishing pole, and he will drink too much beer, get tangled in fish line, hook himself in the nose casting, fall overboard, and either drown, or, go home hungry and wet. Give a man a case of dynamite, and he will feed the whole town for a year!



BE ON NOTICE:
PRIVACY NOTICE: Warning - any person and/or institution and/or Agent and/or Agency of any governmental structure including but not limited to the United States Federal Government also using or monitoring/using this website or any of its associated websites, you do NOT have my permission to utilize any of my profile information nor any of the content contained herein including, but not limited to my photos, and/or the comments made about my photos or any other "picture" art posted on my profile.

You are hereby notified that you are strictly prohibited from disclosing, copying, distributing, disseminating, or taking any other action against me with regard to this profile and the contents herein. The foregoing prohibitions also apply to your employee, agent, student or any personnel under your direction or control.

The contents of this profile are PRIVATE and legally privileged and confidential information, and the violation of my personal privacy is punishable by law. UCC 1-103 1-308 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED WITHOUT PREJUDICE


Fri Oct 28, 2011 7:47 am
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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses.
He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?".
The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?" AR15firing


Wed Nov 09, 2011 10:12 am
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Stan Wood wrote:
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses.
He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?".
The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?" AR15firing


wow that sounds like something Greg would do

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That one that says "From my cold dead hands..... will require a background check"


He who does not punish evil commands it to be done. --- Leonardo DaVinci

When its time to go in:
That place of steel and stone. I pray that you will keep me safe, so I will not walk alone. Help me to do my duty, please watch me on my rounds.
Amongst those perilous places and slamming steel door sounds. God, keep my fellow Officers well and free from harm. Let them know I'll be there too, whenever there's alarm.
Above all when I walk my beat, no matter where I roam. Let me go back whence I came, to family and home

Author unknown.


Wed Nov 09, 2011 1:10 pm
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