The reason some of the test questions are esoteric is rooted in the old US and International Law. The considerable spectrum given to amateurs is worth billions to commercial interests. The service was created to advance the art and provide other benefits to the public.

Certainly you don't need to know all that stuff to "talk on the radio". However, you do get a basic understanding of radio theory which can be useful when providing public service and other functions.

As others have said, if you want local communication, CERT, etc., a dual-band (144/440 MHz) handheld/mobile is satisfactory. I would lean toward one that is based on a commercial grade chassis rather than the Chinese radios. If you think, for even a moment, that your life or that of others could depend on that radio then it makes sense to have something that has been tested and certified for shock, drop, ingress, etc. The Chinese radios have their place, but, not in emergency situations. Of course, that's just my opinion.

Do make sure your handheld has a "AA" pack available - chargers while on the go can be a problem!

Frequencies and megahertz and stuff.

We'll get into calculating angles of radiation to use the different atmospheric layers to reflect/refract radio signals later..

For some study time and $15, you too could be learned and have a callsign.

Not a HANDLE, a callsign. Unfortunately for you, it won't be "MadPick"!

W7STCE is available.
W7 Steve The Cake Eater

Haha hahaha haha haha gah

I just took both tests in December. I studied for the tech (and passed) but it didn't cost extra to take the general afterwards so I figured what the hell I might get lucky. I was not lucky but I got half the questions right without studying.

I got a 3 band Baofeng handheld but I was also convinced to get a Kenwood TM-V71a. This Kenwood has a lot of great features including public service channels (receive only) and can function as a crossband repeater if you take it mobile in your vehicle and then take your handheld hiking. Both were inexpensive enough to buy new, any used ones were modified or had their wiring cut so the cost savings wasn't worth the hassle for me on those. I've been playing with the Dr Fond J-Pole antenna from ebay for $35. I can hit the repeater on Capitol Hill from the hills of North Bend. Not to shabby.