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It is currently Tue May 21, 2024 4:36 am
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JOKE OF THE DAY-POINTS FOR SPIT COFFEE ON YER KEYBOARD STUFF
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JohnMBrowning
Location: Bothell Joined: Sat Sep 12, 2015 Posts: 4917
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It happens more often than not nowadays.... Its even better watching them trying to count change when you give them the correct amount!!!
_________________ Plan B is actually repeating Plan A.... it just involves much more alcohol.
Of the ten voices I hear in my head, only three keep telling me NOT to shoot.... Do I go with the majority or common sense?
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Sun Jun 04, 2023 3:43 pm |
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jukk0u
Site Supporter
Location: Lynnwood and at large Joined: Wed May 1, 2013 Posts: 21413
Real Name: Vick Lagina
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...
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_________________ “Finding ‘common ground’ with the thinking of evil men is a fool’s errand” ~ Herschel Smith
"The said Constitution shall never be construed to authorize Congress to prevent the people of the United States who are peaceable citizens from keeping their own arms." ~ Samuel Adams
“A return to First Principles in a Republic is sometimes caused by simple virtues of a single man. His good example has such an influence that the good men strive to imitate him, and the wicked are ashamed to lead a life so contrary to his example. Before all else, be armed!” ~ Niccolo Machiavelli
Láodòng zhèng zhūwèi zìyóu
FJB
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Sat Aug 12, 2023 4:38 pm |
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cmica
Site Supporter
Location: I-5 /512 Joined: Thu Dec 8, 2011 Posts: 15255
Real Name: chris
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This fellow is looking to buy a saw to cut down some trees in his backyard. He goes to a chainsaw shop and asks about various chainsaws.
The dealer tells him, "Look, I have a lot of models, but why don't you save yourself a lot of time and aggravation and get the top-of-the-line model. This chainsaw will cut a hundred cords of wood for you in one day."
So, the man takes the chainsaw home and begins working on the trees. After cutting for several hours and only cutting two cords, he decides to quit. He thinks there is something wrong with the chainsaw. "How can I cut for hours and only cut two cords?" the man asks himself. "I will begin first thing in the morning and cut all day," the man tells himself.
So, the next morning the man gets up at 4 am in the morning and cuts and cuts, and cuts till nightfall, and still he only manages to cut five cords.
The man is convinced this is a bad saw. "The dealer told me it would cut one hundred cords of wood in a day, no problem. I will take this saw back to the dealer," the man says to himself.
The very next day the man brings the saw back to the dealer and explains the problem. The dealer, baffled by the man's claim, removes the chainsaw from the case. The dealer says, "Hmm, it looks fine."
Then the dealer starts the chainsaw, to which the man responds, "What's that noise?
_________________
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Wed Aug 16, 2023 9:58 am |
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AR15L
Site Supporter
Location: Nampa, Idaho Joined: Thu Mar 17, 2011 Posts: 19518
Real Name: Rick
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Attachment: 367040208_3745321522361962_1248388495302342469_n.jpg
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_________________ ‘What’s the point of being a citizen if an illegal gets all the benefits’
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Thu Aug 24, 2023 7:23 am |
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AR15L
Site Supporter
Location: Nampa, Idaho Joined: Thu Mar 17, 2011 Posts: 19518
Real Name: Rick
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Madpick's favorite. Attachment: 369329495_866491965048438_2561360574777283765_n.jpg
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_________________ ‘What’s the point of being a citizen if an illegal gets all the benefits’
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Thu Aug 24, 2023 7:24 am |
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MadPick
Site Admin
Location: Renton, WA Joined: Sun Mar 13, 2011 Posts: 52188
Real Name: Steve
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_________________SteveBenefactor Life Member, National Rifle AssociationLife Member, Second Amendment FoundationPatriot & Life Member, Gun Owners of AmericaLife Member, Citizens Committee for the Right to Keep and Bear ArmsLegal Action Supporter, Firearms Policy CoalitionMember, NAGR/NFGRPlease support the organizations that support all of us.Leave it cleaner than you found it.
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Fri Aug 25, 2023 7:38 am |
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cmica
Site Supporter
Location: I-5 /512 Joined: Thu Dec 8, 2011 Posts: 15255
Real Name: chris
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what am I missing steve??
_________________
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Fri Aug 25, 2023 6:55 pm |
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MadPick
Site Admin
Location: Renton, WA Joined: Sun Mar 13, 2011 Posts: 52188
Real Name: Steve
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cmica wrote: what am I missing steve?? Needs more ass. cream.
_________________SteveBenefactor Life Member, National Rifle AssociationLife Member, Second Amendment FoundationPatriot & Life Member, Gun Owners of AmericaLife Member, Citizens Committee for the Right to Keep and Bear ArmsLegal Action Supporter, Firearms Policy CoalitionMember, NAGR/NFGRPlease support the organizations that support all of us.Leave it cleaner than you found it.
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Fri Aug 25, 2023 6:59 pm |
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AR15L
Site Supporter
Location: Nampa, Idaho Joined: Thu Mar 17, 2011 Posts: 19518
Real Name: Rick
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Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out... "Pa you need to go out and fix the outhouse!" Pa replies, "There ain't nuthin wrong with it." Ma yells back, "Yes there is; now git out there and fix it." So.......Paw mosies out to the outhouse, looks around, and yells back, "Ma there ain't nuthin wrong with this outhouse honey! " Ma replies, "Stick yur head in the hole!" Payells back, "I ain't stickin my head in that hole!" Ma says, "Ya have to stick yur head in the hole to see what to fix." So with that, Pa sticks his head in the hole, looks around, and yells back,"Ma-dadgummit there ain't nuthin wrong with this outhouse!" Ma hollers back, "Now take your head out of da hole!" Pa proceeds to pull his head out of the hole, and then starts yelling, "Ma - Help! My beard is stuck in the cracks in the toilet seat!" To which Ma replies, "Hurts, don't it?"
_________________ ‘What’s the point of being a citizen if an illegal gets all the benefits’
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Sun Sep 17, 2023 9:36 am |
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Old Growth
Site Supporter
Location: Nisqually Valley Joined: Wed Oct 5, 2016 Posts: 4859
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jukk0u wrote: Watching the cashier at Winco tender cash for the guy in front of me. $10.38
Customer hands in $11.00
Can't remember why cashier didn't just plug that into the register and let it do the math...
Cashier is trying to figure out how much change to return. Manager comes over and gets a confuseded look on her face. Pulls out her phone and opens calculator. Even better, hand them 20.38 and see what happens!!
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Sun Sep 17, 2023 10:17 am |
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JohnMBrowning
Location: Bothell Joined: Sat Sep 12, 2015 Posts: 4917
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Attachment: 387197740_651638370442495_7167876028574272327_n.jpg And thanks for the warning!
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_________________ Plan B is actually repeating Plan A.... it just involves much more alcohol.
Of the ten voices I hear in my head, only three keep telling me NOT to shoot.... Do I go with the majority or common sense?
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Sat Oct 14, 2023 1:39 pm |
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cmica
Site Supporter
Location: I-5 /512 Joined: Thu Dec 8, 2011 Posts: 15255
Real Name: chris
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Lil Johnny is out for a Drive in his spanking new Mercedes. The tops down, the breeze is blowing through his hair and he decides to open her up. As the needle jumps up thru 80 mph Lil Johnny suddenly notices the flashing red and blue light behind him. "There's no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thinks and opens her up. The needle hits 90, 100 110 and doing over 135 but the lights are still right there, behind him. "What in heck am I doing?" he says to himself and pulls over. The LEO slowly comes up to his passenger door ask for his license then without a word the LEO examines it and the car. The LEO then says to Lil Johnny, "I've had a tough shift and this is my last pull over. I don't feel like more paperwork so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before you can go." Well Lil Johnny thinks quick and says, "Last week my wife ran off with an LEO and I was afraid you were trying to give her back!" "Have a nice night", said the officer.
_________________
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Mon Oct 23, 2023 10:34 pm |
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catbird
Site Supporter
Location: C@L Joined: Thu Jan 16, 2014 Posts: 342
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_________________ Don't trust a man who claims he has no vises, especially if his name is Wilton.
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Tue Nov 07, 2023 10:43 am |
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golddigger14s
Site Supporter
Location: Faxon, OK Joined: Sat Mar 19, 2011 Posts: 17861
Real Name: Chuck
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The manager hired a new secretary. She was young, sweet and polite. One day while taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open. While leaving the room, she courteously said, “Oh, sir, did you know that your barracks door is open?” He did not understand her remark, but later on he happened to look down and saw that his zipper was open. He decided to have some fun with his new employee. Calling her in, he asked, “By the way, Miss Jones, when you saw my barracks door open this morning, did you also see a soldier standing at attention?” The secretary, who was quite witty, replied, “Why, no sir, all I saw was a little, disabled veteran, sitting on two duffel bags!”
_________________ "The beauty of the Second Amendment is that it will not be needed until they try to take it." Thomas Jefferson "Evil often triumphs, but never conquers." Joseph Roux
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Fri Dec 15, 2023 7:54 am |
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hkcavalier
Site Supporter
Location: NE WA Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2011 Posts: 5507
Real Name: The Dude
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golddigger14s wrote: The manager hired a new secretary. She was young, sweet and polite. One day while taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open. While leaving the room, she courteously said, “Oh, sir, did you know that your barracks door is open?” He did not understand her remark, but later on he happened to look down and saw that his zipper was open. He decided to have some fun with his new employee. Calling her in, he asked, “By the way, Miss Jones, when you saw my barracks door open this morning, did you also see a soldier standing at attention?” The secretary, who was quite witty, replied, “Why, no sir, all I saw was a little, disabled veteran, sitting on two duffel bags!” Funny, though I think it's from a 1960s issue of National Lampoon. It's been around the...barracks...a while
_________________ "Wherever you go, there you are."
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Fri Dec 15, 2023 8:58 am |
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