My son's (Buckwheat) Trailblazer has (2) 12 VDC cigarette lighter/power outlets, both hot all the time. He wanted one of them switched to the ignition so that his Bluetooth, GPS, Dash Cam, phone charger, and enough other crap to trip an alarm at Grand Coulee won't kill the battery when he shuts the car off.

Now in the good old days this was about a ten minute job. Go under the dash to the fuse block, find an ignition switched source, run a wire with an in line fuse to the outlet, done.

Yeah, not so much now. First of all, the fuse block is under the rear seat. My aching ass, are you shitting me? Well, screw that, we'll find some power under the dash, no problem.

Well gentle readers, fast forward about an hour and a half...I could have broken into Fort Fukin Knox easier than disassembling the dash on this abortion. SAE,metric, whatever the hell comes in between those two, tweezers, slim jims, dental floss, coat hangers...I went for the torch twice but my boy stopped me.

So, a few deep breaths and a couple Valiums later and it's smooth sailing, just gotta find us a switched 12VDC source. Easy peasy. Right. In a pig's ass! Every stinking wire under that godforsaken dash is wrapped up tighter than King Tut, using some sort of tape that is bullet proof on the outside and gooey and stickier than Tar Baby on the inside. I am shaking uncontrollaby and sweating like Cakeface in a German bakery.

Fear not my faithful followers, relief is close at hand. I instruct the Wheat to look under the pallete in my tool case, way in the bottom, beyond the travel size WD-40 can, below the little tin of special waterproof grease for faucet repair, under the JB Weld, past the mil-spec 100mph tape. He finds the little round screw top tin. It looks almost like a container that condoms came in years ago. Carefully he opens it, takes out foil packet and unwraps it handing his dear father the contents. In about 10 minutes the Qualudes have kicked in and we're back under the dash trying to crack the code to unhooking a variety of connectors from hell. Remember good old fashioned spade connectors? Wire nuts?

Finally, I decide to fashion a probe by soldering a sewing machine needle to one of the test tips of the voltmeter. This allows me to test wires and connectors without disconnecting them and I find what seems to be the main power to the radio. Key ON, 12VDC. Key OFF, 0 VDC. Bingo. Perfect! A couple splices, some solder, shrink wrap and tape and we can button things back up, which only takes about 2 hours, because we know what we're doing now.

We mount all my kids equipment back in the rig (there's enough shit there to land a rocket on Mars and get it back), test it all, A-OK, back the rig out of the garage, do the dance of joy in the driveway, and send Junior to the liquor store, cuz Pops is a little frayed.

I take a few deep breaths, have a little Dupont nerve tonic, and start putting the tools away. Still a little edgey, but starting to unwind and feeling good about getting the simple 10 minute job off my back.

Tools put away, tunes playing, having a little dust chaser to sooth my throat, and llfe is good. Feeling very good about getting that kid's damn truck wired. Now, maybe, just maybe I can get him to help me with one or two little projects......

The sound of an angry truck horn jars me from my surfing trip with Kendall Jenner...must have dozed off for a second. I peek out in the driveway, there's the Trailblazer. There's the Buckwheat. Wheat no looky happy.

After I listen to about 10 minutes of how I don't know my ass from a hole in the ground, it becomes apparent that the power outlet isn't powering, it's cold as hell outside, I'm fukin idiot, and the world as Buckwheat knows it is coming to an end.

So...I tell him that in my tool case under the first pallete, beyond the travel sized can of WD-40....screw it, I told him where the Valium are and opened the garage door.

Out come the tools. First we check all the fuses we can find. This is turnig out to be such a bonding moment. Quality father-son time. I'm reminded that I wear pull on boots, cuz no laces, HTF would I know how to check fuses? Such a sweet boy, takes after his mother, the Dragon Lady. Maybe we should check the devices in a known good outlet too. You know, don't rewire the house if the bulb is burned out. Well, fuses all good, toys all work, get the torch we gotta take the dash apart again. Buckwheat actually heads for the torch this time.

So we got the dash about 3/4 loose and for some reason I decide to check the outlet. Guess what? Got 12VDC when the key is on, turns off with the key. Well crap. Number One Son says Yippee! and starts reeling up the torch hose, sez we're done, don't have to take it all the way apart, button her up, you're a genius Fats, I'm outta here!!

Buuuulshit. Best case we've got a loose wire somewhere, we gotta track it down. The kid is now claiming that my parents weren't married when I was born, and that apparently he believes I participate in certain unsavory same sex sexual practices. Dear child, I believe he gets that from his mother.

Well to spare you the next few hours of precious family togetherness let me just say that we beat the hell out of everything and each other and could not get the connection to fail. Maybe we just kinked something the wrong way when we put things back together the first time, right? Yeah, that must be it. We'll be reeeeeal careful putting it back together this time.

All back together, sipping on a sundowner, everything works, thinking I might rock back and give Kendall a call...... and the front door slams. Or a plane hit the house.

I hear the melodious tones of the Buckwheat once again roaring across the room, questioning my heritage and sexuality. Sounds a bit like his Mom when he gets this way. Well, seems like no power on the old cigarette lighter trick again. Well phooey, I've got some Fentanly around here somewhere. Kendall, you stay right there...

Meanwhile out in the driveway...something akin to the Tazmanian Devil is ricochetting around in the front of the Trailblazer cab. I meekly peek in the window and inquire - "Sup, Wheat?" . Have I mentioned certain negative aspects of my darling wife's vocabulary? It definitely got genetically transferred to our baby boy. He seemed highly put out. Calm down my boy, have a vitamin and wash it down with this mineral water....

We put the rig back in the garage and the MFSOB power started working. Buckwheat now knows how to spell Propofol.

To save any more tedium, it turns out there is a photocell that turns the dash lights ON when it is dark out or you are parked in a dim garage, and OFF in the nice bright light of day in the driveway. Guess which wire I was lucky enough to find? Oh sure, I can just see some of you smug basturds out there saying "Duh, I knew it." Well, the Dragon Lady has a few choice words for you too.

I wish I had just drilled holes in blocks for the Mason bees.

I picked a bad week to quit sniffing glue.

Condoms used to come in round screw top tins? How the fuck old are you traut?

If there had been condoms in that container when I got it, I could have saved myself a lot of grief this afternoon.

The whole story was good, but that line took the cake.


I had to google Kendall Jenner.


That's the lazy way to do it. I build the outside, then make a stack of 3/4x, and drill my holes right on the joint between the two blocks... This allows a sorting and cleaning during the winter while they're hibernating, and you get to clean the blocks for next spring. No mite infestations.


I've been sniffing Titebond II wood glue. I can spare some if you're in need.

You wanna talk lazy Mike, for a lot of years, I used glass tubes. Real easy to clean.

More upgrades to the RV.
New duel loveseat with console.
Couple hat hangers..
New railing for the new steps.
New mini fridge.
New twin blow up for the kid when he visits.

That ugly cloth recliner will be replaced with a Euro Recliner on order (last photo)

Getting tired of pounding on my cheap 3" Harbor Freight vise, so I got this today.
6.5" of goodness (that's what she said ).

It'll be so much easier to torque barrels and generally beat the hell out of stuff. I might need a bigger hammer...

I got one of those circa 1940. In storage now.

What kind of a support do you have it bolted to? A big vise is nice, but I've found that a solid bench is even better.

Boy that is the truth! Build your bench to NORAD nuclear-hardened specs!

It's going on to a 6' 3000 lb capacity work bench with a 1 3/4" hardwood top, sandwiched between two 8" square pieces of 1/4 plate steel.

Not my first rodeo.

Fer sure

Yeah, that should work lol

Yeah, that should do it.
The question had more to do with my mission to encourage strong inflexible work surfaces, not to cast any aspersion on your level of experience.

This could go in the "Pissed Off" thread, except I'm not really pissed about it.
Roll pins are GREAT fasteners... But what a pain in the butt when they are used in a spot that gets road salt and wetness, and also when they're captive from one end.