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 Something tragic happened.....Suicide can affect any of us 
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Prayers up my man

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Tue Feb 11, 2020 9:02 pm
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Gasitman, so sorry you lost an awesome friend.

Warning to others...possible long post ahead...


I've posted parts of this previously, when we've lost folks here, and on the other site. Apologies for any duplicate info.

Having tried to help many folks who were suicidal, and their survivors, I just wanted to share a few things I've learned.  Hopefully, they may help you, or someone else reading.

First, in an effort to help people understand from the perspective of the person suffering from depression...

Please understand, they are in a deep fog.  That doesn't make a lot of sense to anyone who hasn't been depressed, but these aren't 'the blues', as most people experience them.  This is an almost palpable feeling, that never seems to lift. Nearly everyone I've talked to used those exact words, a deep fog...

It's so dense, that nothing is funny, or enjoyable. Kids playing & laughing don't bring a smile, tv shows are no longer funny, and even the sun, usually warm & inviting, is obnoxious & too bright.

In fact, the lack of enjoyment magnifies the fog, and the lack of feeling or attachment to things around you.

People around you try to cheer you up, invite you to do things you like to do, try to get you back into your hobbies, things you used to enjoy...but...there is zero feeling or joy, except for the guilt you feel for troubling people around you that seem happy, except for the inconvenience & angst you feel you are causing everyone having to deal with you.

You try to 'hang in there', and 'fake it 'til you make it', but the fog increases, and the distant feeling seems larger and larger.  You feel like you're in the same room, but in a different realm, and the longer it goes on, the less it feels like it will ever end.

I say all that, because people usually think that suicide is an escape, or a cop-out.

In these situations, it's not.  They just want the cycle of pain, and the fog, which seems un-ending, to end.  Most feel like they are a burden to those that they love, and are trying to love them, and they want to stop being a burden, so others can be happy again.

Another issue can be meds...

SSRI's (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors) and other head meds, can be a double-edged sword.  They can be stabilizing and life-saving, but also dangerous.

Think of it like a see-saw at a playground...the hurting person is sitting on one end, and nothing is on the other, so their end is on the ground, and they are feeling down; the SSRI's gradually weight the other end, and they are now even-keeled & feeling better.

They start thinking they are okay, so, they suddenly stop taking the meds cold-turkey.  Then, it's like Dumbo just jumped off the other end, and they go down hard and fast. That's why the FDA now requires warnings.

Such meds must be weaned off slowly, but when you're feeling good, you think you no longer need them, nor the expensive docs that prescribe them.

So, Gasitman, my brother, I say all that, hoping and praying that in all of that rambling, somewhere in there, you, or someone else, finds a little comfort in knowing that, other than loving & supporting them, there really isn't anything you could have done.  Sometimes, they just want the pain to stop, and nothing else has worked.

Praying for you during this difficult time. PM if you want to talk or grab coffee, anytime...


Tue Feb 11, 2020 10:36 pm
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I'm sorry for your loss.
Lost a few friends myself.

A friend of many of us on SGN killed himself.
He was a combat vet and said he couldn't go to the VA for help for fear of losing his gun rights.

It would be nice if there was another outlet for people seeking help to go that could provide anonymous free counseling and keep them alive that wouldn't fuck people out of their constitutional rights.

When I was in the Navy, the scuttlebutt was "Never talk to chaplains or counselors, anything you say will be written down, given to your CO, and become part of your permanent record"

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Tue Feb 11, 2020 10:53 pm
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Very sorry for the loss!

Heavy stuff, and painful just reading this topic. I've felt the pain of suicides and near suicides in my life. It's true that suicide doesn't take away pain, it just gives it to other people that loved the deceased.

It's so tragic in so many ways and, sadly, if there's a theme I think big government bureaucracy is a big reason. Almost everyone seems to have gotten screwed over by the system in some way - courts, insurance, healthcare, and banks... Seems like that's the theme.

Tragically also, there is a big fear of seeking help and taking about it because there is such a stigma and such consequences at work, your civil rights, "red flag" laws, labels, etc. If we really want to reduce suicides we need to allow people to seek help without the consequences.

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Tue Feb 11, 2020 11:03 pm
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Sorry to hear about your friend. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

I have dealt with a lot of death in my life. A suicide, several from cancer and way too many sudden deaths from heart attacks (age 55 and below). It’s hard to not be able to help the person or even say goodbye.

To help myself I built a rifle and had it engraved with “to friends lost, but never forgotten”. I shoot it often in their memory.


Wed Feb 12, 2020 6:09 am
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In case it becomes relevant as an option when dealing with someone talking about/contemplating suicude/rights/red flag laws, RCW 9.41.113 contains the following *exemption*:
"A temporary transfer of possession of a firearm if: (i) The transfer is intended to prevent suicide or self-inflicted great bodily harm; (ii) the transfer lasts only as long as reasonably necessary to prevent death or great bodily harm; and (iii) the firearm is not utilized by the transferee for any purpose for the duration of the temporary transfer;"


Wed Feb 12, 2020 7:22 am
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Many people hear suicide and think easy way out, or selfishness, or even worse.

The inconvenient truth is the people who do it really believe they cannot cope with whatever life has thrown their way, and even worse than that, really believe—honestly, like pass a polygraph honestly—that those who care will throw a party when they find out the person is gone.

Like “hey did you hear about gopher, fucker off’d himself. Finally! Let’s party the PoS is gone!!!”

That’s truly how they feel. It’s hard to break through to them sometimes and many hide it very very well.

Sorry your friend gave up before he could get help.


Wed Feb 12, 2020 10:24 pm
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There is nothing anyone can say that will take away the pain, but remember this:

We should be thankful that such men lived and where around to brighten the world.

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Thu Feb 13, 2020 7:34 am
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I’ll relate to you the story of one of my old neighbors who did himself in, he was a good man, a union electrician for most of his life, a good marine before that. He was diagnosed Parkinson’s and worked until he couldn’t got a medical retirement and he remained as active as he could, until one day he had trouble walking and picking stuff up and feeding himself. There was talk about him getting put in a home with nurses to wipe his ass and feed him. The week before he was going to do that he walked out in his backyard one morning before his wife woke up called 911 on his cell phone and told the operator he was going to kill himself left the phone on so they could trace it and blew his brains out. He didn’t want anyone else taking care of him. To this day, while I regret his passing, I totally respect his decision. I think about what I would do I the same situation and how I watched my old man suffocate slowly from a tumor in a hospital bed a few years back and there are some days I know if my fate would be to go out like that I’d rather step out in front of a bus or grab a 1000 volt cable. I respect the sanctity of life a lot, and people should get help if they really need it, but I don’t judge people who decide if their life ain’t worth living anymore because I haven’t lived life like they have so I don’t know why they want to leave it.


Thu Feb 13, 2020 1:48 pm
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Ace wrote:
I’ll relate to you the story of one of my old neighbors who did himself in, he was a good man, a union electrician for most of his life, a good marine before that. He was diagnosed Parkinson’s and worked until he couldn’t got a medical retirement and he remained as active as he could, until one day he had trouble walking and picking stuff up and feeding himself. There was talk about him getting put in a home with nurses to wipe his ass and feed him. The week before he was going to do that he walked out in his backyard one morning before his wife woke up called 911 on his cell phone and told the operator he was going to kill himself left the phone on so they could trace it and blew his brains out. He didn’t want anyone else taking care of him. To this day, while I regret his passing, I totally respect his decision. I think about what I would do I the same situation and how I watched my old man suffocate slowly from a tumor in a hospital bed a few years back and there are some days I know if my fate would be to go out like that I’d rather step out in front of a bus or grab a 1000 volt cable. I respect the sanctity of life a lot, and people should get help if they really need it, but I don’t judge people who decide if their life ain’t worth living anymore because I haven’t lived life like they have so I don’t know why they want to leave it.



I have a similar attitude towards my older years. I never had kids and if my wife goes before me and my health turns bad I will never be in a care facility. I have worked on equipment in too many of them to let myself end up in one of these nasty places.


Thu Feb 13, 2020 3:26 pm
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Ace wrote:
I respect the sanctity of life a lot, and people should get help if they really need it, but I don’t judge people who decide if their life ain’t worth living anymore because I haven’t lived life like they have so I don’t know why they want to leave it.


Well said.

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Thu Feb 13, 2020 9:39 pm
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I understand some people think psychotropics help, but I think they are too dangerous to use. We still in 2020 have no proof of how they work on a chemical/cellular level, and with side effects including what they are trying to prevent, it's too dangerous IMHO to be injecting random chems into people's brains just to see what happens.

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If you have family or friends voting for Biden show them this and ask if they are willing to vote for your murder or maybe even their own if they are gun owners or live with any.
https://nypost.com/2020/03/03/joe-biden ... n-control/
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“I want to make something clear, I’m going to guarantee you this is not the last you’ve seen of him (Beto),” Biden said Monday evening during a campaign rally in Dallas. “You’re (Beto) going to take care of the gun problem with me. You’re (Beto) going to be the one who leads this effort.”

https://www.newsweek.com/beto-orourke-g ... ns-1465738
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[Beto O'Rourke Suggests Police Would 'Visit' Homes To Implement Proposed Assault Weapons Ban] "In that case, I think that there would be a visit by law enforcement to recover that firearm... ..."If someone does not turn in an AR-15 or an AK-47, one of these weapons of war...then that weapon will be taken from them"


Thu Feb 13, 2020 9:43 pm
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I have a good friend from high school who was one of the first into Iraq in ‘03. He suffers from nightmares and PTSD, works a horribly stressful job and his 3rd wife recently left him. We talk at least once a week and text almost every day. He hates life right now. It breaks my heart. All I can do is listen and talk and tell him I love him. He needs to hear it from someone. I don’t know if it’s enough, though.


Fri Feb 14, 2020 12:13 am
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Friend of mine from my first band in POWAY CA offed himself last late Dec. My mom called to see how he was doing as he had some health issues. lived at home and never got married. It all went downhill when he got fired from a job for making a common mistake. One of my other friends he got a job there before being canned worked his way to #2 man at the company. After that he could not work for anyone but himself. But that never worked out.

Mom called me to tell me his mom told my mom he hung himself in some hills we kids used to hike around in with our BB guns. I could not keep up with him on the net because he became anti social so I'd exchange an email every 12 months or more. Such a waste but I am sure the OP knows the feeling.


Fri Feb 14, 2020 4:34 am
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Alpine wrote:
I understand some people think psychotropics help, but I think they are too dangerous to use. We still in 2020 have no proof of how they work on a chemical/cellular level, and with side effects including what they are trying to prevent, it's too dangerous IMHO to be injecting random chems into people's brains just to see what happens.


100% agree, use them as a last resort. If you're on them, listen to medical direction. Problem is many people are on them and if there is a supply disruption, there might be literal panic in the streets.


Fri Feb 14, 2020 5:29 am
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