Sarah was in the fertilized egg business. She had several hundred young pullets and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. She kept records and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.
This took a lot of time, so she bought some tiny bells and attached them to her roosters. Each bell had a different tone, so she could tell from a distance which rooster was performing. Now, she could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report just by listening to the bells.
Sarah's favorite rooster, old Butch, was a fine specimen but, this morning, she noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all! When she went to investigate, she saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.
To Sarah's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job, and walk on to the next one.
Sarah was so proud of old Butch, she entered him in a show and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.
The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the "No Bell Piece Prize", they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well.
Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making.. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on the planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention?
Vote carefully in the next election: You can't always hear the bells.
_________________ "Remove one freedom per generation and soon you will have no freedom and no one would have noticed."......Carl Marx
"Let us Cross the river and sit in the shade of the trees" .....Stonewall Jackson
T. Jefferson "....the tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots & tyrants. it is it's natural manure"
Mon Oct 15, 2018 4:40 pm
CowardlyHero
Site Supporter
Location: Issaquah Joined: Mon Aug 27, 2012 Posts: 218
Real Name: Nathan
A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won’t stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring.
He replies: “I have a question to ask, but I don’t want to offend you.”
She answers, “My son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I’m sure that there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.”
“Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.”
She responds, “Well, let’s see what we can do about that… 1) You have to be single and 2) You must be Catholic.”
The cab driver is very excited and says, “Yes, I’m single and Catholic!”
“OK” the nun says. “Pull into the next alley.”
The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
“My dear child,” said the nun, “why are you crying?”
“Forgive me, but I’ve sinned. I lied and I must confess, I’m married and I’m Jewish.”
The nun says, “That’s OK. My name is Kevin and I’m going to a Halloween party!”
_________________ ‘What’s the point of being a citizen if an illegal gets all the benefits’
Sun Oct 28, 2018 7:28 am
cmica
Site Supporter
Location: I-5 /512 Joined: Thu Dec 8, 2011 Posts: 15231
Real Name: chris
_________________ “Finding ‘common ground’ with the thinking of evil men is a fool’s errand” ~ Herschel Smith
"The said Constitution shall never be construed to authorize Congress to prevent the people of the United States who are peaceable citizens from keeping their own arms." ~ Samuel Adams
“A return to First Principles in a Republic is sometimes caused by simple virtues of a single man. His good example has such an influence that the good men strive to imitate him, and the wicked are ashamed to lead a life so contrary to his example. Before all else, be armed!” ~ Niccolo Machiavelli
Láodòng zhèng zhūwèi zìyóu
FJB
Mon Oct 29, 2018 5:09 am
WaJim
In Memoriam
Location: Tacoma Wa Joined: Tue Oct 8, 2013 Posts: 16607
Real Name: George Bailey
Yeah, your joke is fuked up as well....who poops in the hot tub?
Wait a second jim, you're dodging the question....
_________________ “Finding ‘common ground’ with the thinking of evil men is a fool’s errand” ~ Herschel Smith
"The said Constitution shall never be construed to authorize Congress to prevent the people of the United States who are peaceable citizens from keeping their own arms." ~ Samuel Adams
“A return to First Principles in a Republic is sometimes caused by simple virtues of a single man. His good example has such an influence that the good men strive to imitate him, and the wicked are ashamed to lead a life so contrary to his example. Before all else, be armed!” ~ Niccolo Machiavelli
Láodòng zhèng zhūwèi zìyóu
FJB
Mon Oct 29, 2018 12:26 pm
WaJim
In Memoriam
Location: Tacoma Wa Joined: Tue Oct 8, 2013 Posts: 16607
Real Name: George Bailey
"He that would make his own liberty secure, must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty, he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself."
Sun Nov 04, 2018 12:26 pm
CowardlyHero
Site Supporter
Location: Issaquah Joined: Mon Aug 27, 2012 Posts: 218
Real Name: Nathan
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot post attachments in this forum