|
|
|
It is currently Fri Apr 19, 2024 6:53 pm
|
JOKE OF THE DAY-POINTS FOR SPIT COFFEE ON YER KEYBOARD STUFF
Author |
Message |
MadPick
Site Admin
Location: Renton, WA Joined: Sun Mar 13, 2011 Posts: 52039
Real Name: Steve
|
_________________SteveBenefactor Life Member, National Rifle AssociationLife Member, Second Amendment FoundationPatriot & Life Member, Gun Owners of AmericaLife Member, Citizens Committee for the Right to Keep and Bear ArmsLegal Action Supporter, Firearms Policy CoalitionMember, NAGR/NFGRPlease support the organizations that support all of us.Leave it cleaner than you found it.
|
Sat Nov 18, 2017 4:38 pm |
|
|
usrifle
Site Supporter
Location: RENTON Joined: Fri Mar 25, 2011 Posts: 20771
Real Name: John
|
_________________ Mr. Q wrote: so basically, if you have to smoke some asshole, make sure they become fertilizer and then Bounce? got it.
Guntrader wrote: Huh, maybe I was an asshole.
NRA Member/RSO SAF 5 Year Donor GOA Member
|
Sat Nov 18, 2017 4:42 pm |
|
|
Guntrader
In Memoriam
Location: Mukilteoish Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2011 Posts: 11595
|
Pretty sure you need some of that electricity to run an electric chair. Ever want to find out where Lil' Kim is, wouldn't be that hard.
_________________ NRA Endowment Member. How did they know my member was well endowed?
|
Sat Nov 18, 2017 4:56 pm |
|
|
WaJim
In Memoriam
Location: Tacoma Wa Joined: Tue Oct 8, 2013 Posts: 16607
Real Name: George Bailey
|
Is it Odd that this was the funny part of the joke.... Double Gibbs FTW
_________________ "Remove one freedom per generation and soon you will have no freedom and no one would have noticed."......Carl Marx
"Let us Cross the river and sit in the shade of the trees" .....Stonewall Jackson
T. Jefferson "....the tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots & tyrants. it is it's natural manure"
|
Sat Nov 18, 2017 6:49 pm |
|
|
os2firefox
Site Supporter
Location: Everett, WA Joined: Sat Aug 4, 2012 Posts: 2798
Real Name: Snek on de ladder
|
Two Jewish guys are walking when one notices a sign on a Catholic church that says "Convert to Christianity, and we'll give you $100."
The one says to the other, "should we do it??" The other says "NO!! Are you crazy?" The first guy replies "Hey, a hundred dollars is a hundred dollars... I'm gonna do it." So he walks in to the church, and little while later, he walks back out. The friend says "well, did you get the money?" He replies "Oh that's all you people think about, isn't it??"
|
Sat Nov 18, 2017 7:49 pm |
|
|
PTmorgan
Site Supporter
Location: Colorado Joined: Sun May 6, 2012 Posts: 1175
|
|
Fri Nov 24, 2017 7:40 am |
|
|
cmica
Site Supporter
Location: I-5 /512 Joined: Thu Dec 8, 2011 Posts: 15231
Real Name: chris
|
A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman’s husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.
The little boy says, “Its dark in here.”
The man says, “Yes, it is.”
Boy ~ “I have a baseball.”
Man ~ “That’s nice.”
Boy ~ “Want to buy it?”
Man ~ “No, thanks.”
Boy ~ “My dad’s outside.”
Man ~ “OK, how much?”
Boy ~ “$250?
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.
Boy ~ “Its dark in here.”
Man ~ “Yes, it is.”
Boy ~ “I have a baseball glove.”
The lover remembering the last time, asks the boy, “How much?”
Boy ~ “$750?
Man ~ “Fine.”
A few days later, the father says to the boy, “Grab your glove, let’s go outside and have a game of catch.”
The boy says, “I can’t, I sold my baseball and my glove.”
The father asks, “How much did you sell them for?”
Boy ~ “$1,000?
The father says, “That’s terrible to overcharge your friends like that…that is way more than those two things cost. I’m going to take you to church and make you confess.”
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, “Dark in here.”
The priest says, “Don’t start that crap again.”
_________________
|
Sat Nov 25, 2017 10:58 am |
|
|
hkcavalier
Site Supporter
Location: NE WA Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2011 Posts: 5490
Real Name: The Dude
|
Oldie but a goodie:
At dinner, a doctor asked an attorney friend, “People are always asking me for free medical advice. How should I handle that?”
The attorney said, “Y'know, same thing used to happen to me regarding legal advice. Then I just started sending people a bill and they stopped.”
The doctor said, “That’s brilliant!”
Two days later the doctor got a bill in the mail from the attorney.
_________________ "Wherever you go, there you are."
|
Tue Nov 28, 2017 10:34 am |
|
|
GeekWithGuns
Site Supporter
Location: Round Rock, TX Joined: Thu Mar 5, 2015 Posts: 3899
Real Name: Dave
|
Q: Did y'all hear what happened to Al Franken on the way to work today? A: He's in bad shape. Some lady's ass assaulted his hand without provocation.
_________________ There are dead horses yet to be slain.... - NWGunner
|
Thu Nov 30, 2017 2:30 pm |
|
|
cmica
Site Supporter
Location: I-5 /512 Joined: Thu Dec 8, 2011 Posts: 15231
Real Name: chris
|
_________________
|
Sat Dec 23, 2017 9:45 pm |
|
|
jukk0u
Site Supporter
Location: Lynnwood and at large Joined: Wed May 1, 2013 Posts: 21270
Real Name: Vick Lagina
|
Clem was determined to teach his son about the birds and the bees... So he called li'l Darrel into the kitchen and when he got there he said "Son Ima learn you 'bout the birds anna bees", and he threw his wife up on the kitchen table ...
He said: "Darrell, you see that hole between Ma's legs? Watch this!!" and he climbed up and started going at Ma...
Li'l Darrels other brother Dan'l came into the kitchen to see what was the clamour and asked his elder brother: "What's Pa doin' Darrel?"
Darrel said: "Pa's learnin' me 'bout the birds anna bees, Dan'l"
Dan'l says: "How's that?"
Darrel replied: "well, you see that hole between Pa's legs? Watch this!!!!"
_________________ “Finding ‘common ground’ with the thinking of evil men is a fool’s errand” ~ Herschel Smith
"The said Constitution shall never be construed to authorize Congress to prevent the people of the United States who are peaceable citizens from keeping their own arms." ~ Samuel Adams
“A return to First Principles in a Republic is sometimes caused by simple virtues of a single man. His good example has such an influence that the good men strive to imitate him, and the wicked are ashamed to lead a life so contrary to his example. Before all else, be armed!” ~ Niccolo Machiavelli
Láodòng zhèng zhūwèi zìyóu
FJB
|
Sat Dec 23, 2017 9:53 pm |
|
|
WaJim
In Memoriam
Location: Tacoma Wa Joined: Tue Oct 8, 2013 Posts: 16607
Real Name: George Bailey
|
How Old Guys Pick Up Women
I am getting on in years and am not the best looking guy anymore.
Some would even say I'm a little frayed around the edges...
But, I have a nice car, a little money, and I spend most of my time casually traveling from place to place and enjoying life.
I met a nice looking girl in a park the other evening.
There was an instant spark between us.
All of a sudden, she did this cute little dance, then immediately dropped to her knees and lay on the grass at my feet.
As we lay there making love, I thought ...... "Wow, these Tasers are really worth the money!"
_________________ "Remove one freedom per generation and soon you will have no freedom and no one would have noticed."......Carl Marx
"Let us Cross the river and sit in the shade of the trees" .....Stonewall Jackson
T. Jefferson "....the tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots & tyrants. it is it's natural manure"
|
Mon Jan 08, 2018 5:19 pm |
|
|
os2firefox
Site Supporter
Location: Everett, WA Joined: Sat Aug 4, 2012 Posts: 2798
Real Name: Snek on de ladder
|
Cops are like a box of chocolates... They'll kill your dog.
|
Mon Jan 08, 2018 5:33 pm |
|
|
AR15L
Site Supporter
Location: Nampa, Idaho Joined: Thu Mar 17, 2011 Posts: 19463
Real Name: Rick
|
It’s a beautiful warm spring day and a man and his wife are at the zoo. She’s wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress, sleeveless with straps.
As they walk through the ape exhibit and pass in front of a very large gorilla, the gorilla goes ape. He jumps up on the bars, holding on with one hand (and 2 feet), grunting and pounding his chest with the free hand. He is obviously excited at the pretty lady in the wavy dress.
The husband, noticing the excitement, suggests that his wife tease the poor fellow. The husband suggests she pucker her lips, wiggle her bottom, and play along.
She does and Mr. Gorilla gets even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead. Then the husband suggests that she let one of her straps fall, she does, and Mr. Gorilla is just about to tear the bars down.
“Now try lifting your dress up your thighs” … this drives the gorilla absolutely crazy.
Then, quickly the husband grabs his wife by the hair, rips open the door to the cage, slings her in with the gorilla and says, “Now, tell HIM you have a headache.”
_________________ ‘What’s the point of being a citizen if an illegal gets all the benefits’
|
Thu Jan 25, 2018 9:16 pm |
|
|
AR15L
Site Supporter
Location: Nampa, Idaho Joined: Thu Mar 17, 2011 Posts: 19463
Real Name: Rick
|
A Mafia Godfather, accompanied by his attorney, walks into a room to meet with his former accountant.
The Godfather asks the accountant, “Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?” The accountant does not answer.
The Godfather asks again, “Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?”
The attorney interrupts, “Sir, the man is a deaf mute and cannot understand you, but I can interpret for you.”
The Godfather says, “Well ask him where my damn money is!” The attorney, using sign language, asks the accountant where the 3 million dollars is.
The accountant signs back, “I don’t know what you are talking about.”
The attorney interprets to the Godfather, “He doesn’t know what you are talking about.”
The Godfather pulls out a 9 millimeter pistol, puts it to the temple of the accountant, cocks the trigger and says, “Ask him again where my damn money is!”
The attorney signs to the accountant, “He wants to know where it is!”
The accountant signs back, “OK! OK! OK! The money is hidden in a brown suitcase behind the shed in my backyard!”
The Godfather says, “Well….what did he say?”
The attorney interprets to the Godfather, “He says…go to hell… ..that you don’t have the guts to pull the trigger.”
_________________ ‘What’s the point of being a citizen if an illegal gets all the benefits’
|
Thu Jan 25, 2018 9:18 pm |
|
|
|
Who is online |
Users browsing this forum: foggood11 and 146 guests |
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot post attachments in this forum
|
|