So, my ex's husband just told me she died.

I'm a fucking wreck. I dunno if it's even true because I can't get a call back from her mom, and it's her husband on her phone.

I just talked to her yesterday, but just the thought is fucking destroying me.

Part of me wants to think he's just fucking with me..... But part of me knows what she's been going through recently, and It's just plausible enough to worry the fuck out of me, and she's not the type of person to let him have her phone.

I've had the luxury of not having to deal with death close to me, for quite some time. My grandfather had Alzheimer's so there was lots of time to prepare for his death, and it didn't really impact me that much because I had so long to prepare for it, it was just a 'thing' that happened... A change I knew was coming.

and now.... Lots of questions... Lots of motherfucking questions.

i just need the truth, you know?

King County Council passed an increase in the sales tax to fund housing for the "chronically homeless", translation-drug addicts and repeat offenders. Reagan Dunn was the only councilmember to vote NO.

That will be a complete waste of taxpayer money. Which is par for the course around here.

Even my wife was pissed about that one. She said something like we are just their checking account feeders.......not sure where Duvall weighs in on the usage. We already know Seattle will give money out for nothing...........

That's completely crazy. If that dude is just messing with your mind, that is completely messed up and very sicko. Surely you two knew other people who might know??

Her phone goes to voicemail.
Her mom's phone isn't being answered.
Her home phone is busy every time I call.
Social media accounts are silent, hasn't logged in, in a day.

This isn't looking good.

Just the thought of losing her has had me in uncontrollable sobbing fits all day and night. I'll compose myself and be fine, distract myself with something else, and I'll have some random innocent thought and it just brings it all up again and I lose it. Things didn't work out between us but I still love her to death and now I'm feeling guilty for even getting involved with her because I feel like I robbed her of those years she could have been finding someone better.

She was/is separated from her husband, but not divorced. He recently moved back into the house to help with bills and childcare because it was cheaper than child support and she wanted her kids to know their dad.

Not to be an arsehole, but aren't ex-wives called "ex" for a reason? Granted, I haven't had the best experiences- my ex- wife turned into a lesbian. Good riddance.

Seriously Dude? I'm over here contemplating life, because I face the very real possibility of losing someone I loved dearly, and your response is 'exes are exes for a reason'? I'm probably one of the biggest assholes I know, and even I wouldn't tell someone that.

Well sounds like she moved on. Losing anyone you know sucks, but she is your EX. She clearly was onto another chapter of her life. This isn't said to be a dick, its a statement of fact with info we have, and should make you feel better. You had zero control of it, nor her life. Being upset is fine, but being a wreck is wasting your time.

Okay, so I am an asshole- even though I might be saddened by the death of an ex-wife, I doubt that "uncontrollable sobbing fits all day and night" would be my reaction. To each his own.

BTW- my first wife committed suicide and left me with 3 little girls to raise on my own. While it was tough, I pulled on my boots and went to work raising my girls. We all react differently to situations, and you will notice I did not suggest a celebration of her passing.

Maybe you never had to fight to your children in family court, maybe you never had your ex empty your 401-K, maybe your ex never walked away with alimony, a new car, and the house. All of those experiences will leave you with a slightly different viewpoint on ex-wives.

Incidentally, I see that someone else gave you roughly the same advice on dealing with this difficult time in your life.

We still loved each other quite a bit, just wasn't gonna work long term for us. Some things you can't control. Shit like this doesn't help my situation.

Time and place. Your experience was not mine.





Kids take priority, obviously. You don't really have time to grieve. I love her kids too, they were awesome. I don't have the ability to focus on them. They're not mine, I haven't developed that relationship with them.

I got divorced in 1997. I would feel bad if my ex died. And she's a complete bitch.

It's okay to have human compassion toward another human being, even one that caused you pain.

I have never been divorced HOWEVER I have a mental list of about 8 "family/friends" that I wouldn't miss a beat if someone told me they died. One is my biological mother.

And yes I am an asshole....So what.

TW.....I am sorry for the pain that you are feeling.
I never try to judge what others feel.

I simply know how I feel.

The guys who put the locker in my front diff did a good job last January, but when I went back after 500 miles to get the fluid changed (part of their required warranty practice) - the ass who changed the fluid really messed up the drain bung - it's an 11 hex plug, looks like he tried to drive a square in the hole. Gonna need to plan this out. Oddly the fill plug with the same 11mm hex hole is fine. I found this today while doing my own oil change first time (the first one was free at the dealer)