I may go to hell for enjoying this, but I think it'll be worth it.
So here's the Balrog Story of the day. The initials are BS, but this is the truth. Just happened 5 minutes before the Balrog's bedtime.
The Dread Princess is a remarkably calm soul. But even with her calm patience, how she has managed to resist gutting me and dropping a shovelful of burning coals in my intestinal cavity while I am still alive is kind of one of the weird mysteries of my life.
So, it turns out that I am not the only member of the family who tests her patience, as I've revealed in previous Balrog Stories... But this one tonight takes the cake. So far.
Dread Princess being a calm and patient soul has the rather irritating habit of speaking too slowly for my needs so many times... I have, over the many years of suffering, became grudgingly patient enough to not interrupt her or urge her to speed up
most of the time. Occasionally I am holding a tool in one hand and trying to do an important (to me at least) job while she calmly and patiently stops me from getting on with my fucking job, and I give her an impolite "Andele, ANDELE!"
Sometimes I will finish her sentences for her at a slightly faster tempo in the vain hope that she'll pick up the pace like a piano player working with a faster metronome. That is very rare, seriously. I don't recall ever doing it in front of the Balrog. It really is very rare.
Well this evening, Dread Princess began a calm sentence about getting ready for a job that I have to get on tomorrow, and the Balrog piped up in an irritated voice and finished her sentence at a faster pace.
I looked up quickly and saw Dread Princess glaring down at the Balrog, eyes a little wider than normal, and her nostrils flared in that angry way that I enjoy so much.
After a second, Dread Princess looked over at me and said "Watch this."
Then she started a sentence, paused, and the Balrog finished it for her.
She started another, paused, Balrog finished it.
She did it for 3 or 4 more and I was about ready to explode in laughter but kept it bottled. The joy shone from me like a spotlight though, I assume. Dread Princess was slightly amused at the whole situation. The balrog is not yet 5...
It was cute seeing the genuine amusement and irritation in Dread Princess' expressions too. Noice.
I had noticed this happen very rarely since the Balrog was about 3... But it never struck me how irritating it must be to the mother, nor how commonplace it has turned out to be. I asked her if she believed me now that she could do with picking up the pace a bit.