WaGuns.org

RENCORP wrote:

kf7mjf wrote:I am concerned about a blacklist and afraid of medication with side effects that could affect my productivity. I'm taking full time classes online and really can't afford a week of no sleep or lethargy or whatever while playing with meds.

You don't need meds. Your future is written in the now, not in the past.

You don't bury the past, but letting the past write your future, lets your step father live on.

You defeat ant destroy him utterly by denying the events of the past the power to shape the narrative of the now.

After a while he turns into an ineffectual little stain on the toilet of life, until when you flush one day, there is nothing left, and you don't even know when that happened.

Fact. It happened a long time ago.

Fact. You could shove your ex-step fathers head up his own ass while feeding the cat, and reading a good book currently.

Fact. He has nearly no power over you.

Fact. Finish him off. Keep talking, live your life, be everything he was not. It will destroy him utterly. Powerless, Impotent.



I left home when I was 14.

I had my reasons, and the biggest one was my own mother, who did not have limits to anger and violence.

Second was my parents divorcing.

Taking sides would have left me at the mercy of one, and the anger of another.

So I left home, took my own life in hand, and started walking as far away from my past as I could.

And, no, it has not been all fucking flowers and bacon, I can tell you, but it has been all mine as best as I can write it on my own.

" That which does not kill you, makes you stronger. " True words, but only if you do the exercise.

You are not alone out here in the world. Saddle up, motherfucker, and ride into the sun. Lots of people are along for the ride.

You know where to find me.

Well, my future is written in the past, but that's because I'm doing the historian gig

Which is probably the biggest upraised middle finger to my fucking family (whom I finally cut off all communication with several years ago when I brought up all this shit with them. Which they denied. So I decided that the accident of birth does not come with any sort of obligation on my part, and told them to go get bent. I became progressively happier after that. Accepting the atheism I'd always leaned towards, even as a child was another big one. For some, religion helps, for me, it was a hindrance and a tool of control by my parents, and never made any sense anyway, but that's another story.)

I think I'm still at the learning to cope with and find a new balance stage. Finishing a degree in a "worthless" field is a big part of reclaiming my own identity. I've been a bookish sort my whole life, which given my height never sat well with my parents who expected me to be some sort of lumberjack sportsball person, and considered sitting around reading all day the height of laziness. I achieved some small success in that field later on with a hatchet and some wood scraps by constructing a small outdoor "fort" as a kid, which I would simply hole up in and invoke "being outside".

Of course my snug outdoor shelter, and my afternoon snacks of foraged edibles all were learned through those horrible books.

Learning to fully cope and rework my mental process is one problem, the other is finding a better job, as my current one is wearing me down. My goal is to do enough freelance writing and the lack to pay my bills, but while I've got a couple clients, it's not enough. Yet.

One can't hide from the past, but they can learn from it, adapt and make a better future. I think despite how fucked up in the head I can get sometimes, I've drawn some powerful lessons from the past, but the price was oh so very high. My narrative of now is still being shaped, but it's generally heading in the direction I want to go and on my own terms, but the bumps in the road can be problematic at times.

old11bravo wrote:Listen Steve, I think it's pretty obvious from previous posts that you and I have not always seen eye to eye on certain subjects. With that said, I ill also say that I have always found your comments intelligent and engaging if not provocative.

I don't know you very well but my impression is that you are a very intelligent person with a good sense of humor, yet sincere and passionate about your beliefs. You are what I would term, "real people". You don't come across as plastic or phony or somebody trying too hard to fit in. I admire that about you.

I live in Everett but I have Sunday or Monday evenings available as my days off from my graveyard shift. I'm not a doctor nor do I possess any mental health education but I do know how to listen and be a friend. If you're in need and willing I would drive to wherever you are and buy you coffee or dinner, introduce myself and let you get to know me and vice versa. I'm married so don't get any funny ideas but I do care about the people on this forum. Like I said, You are one of the good guys despite our differences.

Let me know if I can help or if you're interested in my offer.

Sincerely,

11B

That is most kind of you, thank you very much, I appreciate the offer. I'm down here in Mexico, don't want to put you out, but if you find your way down here, I can point you to some damn fine coffee. (Batdorf and Bronson has their tasting room in downtown Oly, and you can find some small batches there you don't usually find out in the wild).

Talking in this thread helps, I suppose it's karma in a way, I've had basically this same conversation with other people over the years, I guess it was time I took some of my own medicine LOL

Mediumrarechicken wrote:I hope you can find the help you need. It will take time stick with it. I really wouldn't be too worried about getting blacklisted, it's not like you are unstable, chugging a 1/5th and have suicidal thoughts. If you just have thoughts like "oh I just don't want to be here anymore life is hard on me right now, but it will get better" and not "gee my life sucks and I'm done" and you are playing with a loaded gun, you will be fine. Every one has a hard time sometime in their life, it's how you help yoursf that matters. These people arnt out to throw you under the bus because you are trying to clear yourself. They will ask about suicide, just answer truthfully. If they ask about guns just say you don't have any.

The meds may make you feel different, but they arnt designed to work right away, it should take a couple of weeks. If you do feel it and it's too much just take 1/2 a dose.



http://m.psychiatrists.psychologytoday. ... pia&spec=2

Edward case looks like he might be into guns and says he prefers therapy over meds. Ask him questions and see if he's a fit for you.

Hope I helped you out

I'm 6'9" and 310 pounds. A fifth is... a good start LOL. I'm thinking therapy may do more than meds. I have ADHD but have a good self dose of caffeine that keeps that under control (at least two rockstar a day, I'll worry about it killing me later on) I don't have suicidal thoughts, I have too much good stuff going on, and it would hurt too many people and a cat if I did.

golddigger14s wrote:When it comes to doctors, don't try to find one that is 2A friendly. Try to find one that you can talk to. My son is going through some issues, and the biggest road block is finding someone he can connect to. Remember I'm just down the street. Our Maine Coon cats can have a play date.

Cyrus is a butt. He was up here snuggling and purring a minute ago, but whenever I try to introduce him to other people he bolts and runs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x95w7GuaOiY

hope it helps you,

kf7mjf wrote:I'm 6'9" and 310 pounds.

I'm 6'5" and about 280. My buddy is 6'11" and 300lb. When we go out for a beer everyone calls me the "short guy".

kf7mjf wrote:
Learning to fully cope and rework my mental process is one problem, the other is finding a better job, as my current one is wearing me down. My goal is to do enough freelance writing and the lack to pay my bills, but while I've got a couple clients, it's not enough. Yet.

.

here we go AGAIN! go find soMETHING ELSE, YOUR JUST PROCRASTINATING

cmica wrote:

kf7mjf wrote:Getting bitched at by my boss over things beyond my control and having future earning ability threatened over it. I just wanted to stay in bed and give in to the crippling depression, but that's the road to much worse things.

go higher or tell him fuck you and go else where, that maybe the solution to your problem. You'll be surprised so time they shut the fuck up then.

OH YA THIS IS NEWS might suit you
https://www.yahoo.com/health/the-number ... 56847.html

You sound like you've been through a lot of fucked up shit but are doing a good job of coping with it. You realized your family was causing more harm than good so you cut contact with them. You keep yourself busy. You acknowledge your feelings but still can recognize that there is hope, it can get better, and suicide is a long-term solution to an often short-term situation. And most importantly you haven't perpetuated the cycle of abuse.
I went through over 5 years of marriage counseling to try to make a go of it with my ex. In the end we ended up divorcing anyway due to some stupid shit on her side but in the meantime I learned a lot about myself and what I needed to do to make myself happy...for me, not for her or anyone else. Towards the end we were together mostly for my kid's sake because we've all heard the statistics of the negative effects of divorce on children. I finally realized that kids learn from observing their parents and being miserable and trying to stick it out "for their sake" wasn't the answer. If parents are unhappy, or constantly fighting, or abusive or whatever that teaches kids that shit is acceptable. They don't see how a loving husband and wife relationship with mutual respect and support works so it's nearly impossible for them to build one of their own later in life. I was doing them a disservice by staying. That was almost 6 years ago and while there's still a lot of added bs that being divorced with kids involves I have been married for almost 5 years to my current wife and my kids now know what a "normal" husband and wife relationship looks like.
Talking to a counselor / therapist can absolutely, without a doubt help...IF you find the right one. We went through several before actually finding the one we stayed with for years. We could tell she genuinely cared how we were feeling. When we were happy, she was happy...when we were sad she cried along with us. The beauty of talking to a therapist vs a friend is that no matter what, your friends will always be biased. It's impossible for a good friend (I wouldn't unload a bunch of shit on a short-term friend or acquaintance) to be objective. It's nearly impossible to be objective period...we see the world based on our life experiences. A therapist is much more likely to be unbiased and they do a great job of listening and helping you talk through things. They help you to turn them around and look at them from different angles and to understand them. But only if you're 100% honest and forthcoming with them. And only if you're willing to hear stuff you aren't always going to like.
If you're interested in a therapist I would unequivocally recommend shoot me a PM.
Take care of yourself brother.
Dave

Since I don't think you want medication, another option is Chiropractic. yeah, I know, sounds crazy. but my Chiropractor uses voodoo techniques to do more than just adjustment. Chiropractors typically are covered by medical insurance. I don't know one in Oly, so you'd have to drive to puyallup, but sometimes "depression" is biochemical imballances and the like, which my guy can help with. BTW, I know he is 2A friendly for a fact....gone shooting with him, and I carry in his office often.

old11bravo wrote:Listen Steve, I think it's pretty obvious from previous posts that you and I have not always seen eye to eye on certain subjects. With that said, I ill also say that I have always found your comments intelligent and engaging if not provocative.

I don't know you very well but my impression is that you are a very intelligent person with a good sense of humor, yet sincere and passionate about your beliefs. You are what I would term, "real people". You don't come across as plastic or phony or somebody trying too hard to fit in. I admire that about you.

I live in Everett but I have Sunday or Monday evenings available as my days off from my graveyard shift. I'm not a doctor nor do I possess any mental health education but I do know how to listen and be a friend. If you're in need and willing I would drive to wherever you are and buy you coffee or dinner, introduce myself and let you get to know me and vice versa. I'm married so don't get any funny ideas but I do care about the people on this forum. Like I said, You are one of the good guys despite our differences.

Let me know if I can help or if you're interested in my offer.

Sincerely,

11B

+1 and bravo sir for your kindness.

I was thinking of saying something similar. I don't agree with you that often and we seem to argue a lot but you do seem like a genuinely sincere and nice person. I am in Lacey and though I've never been through what you have I would gladly listen and try to be a friend.

joao01 wrote:Since I don't think you want medication, another option is Chiropractic. yeah, I know, sounds crazy. but my Chiropractor uses voodoo techniques to do more than just adjustment. Chiropractors typically are covered by medical insurance. I don't know one in Oly, so you'd have to drive to puyallup, but sometimes "depression" is biochemical imballances and the like, which my guy can help with. BTW, I know he is 2A friendly for a fact....gone shooting with him, and I carry in his office often.

I agree. This and hot yoga do me very well. It isn't easy growing up with a father who likes to hit you. Keep looking forwad brother.

Not sure about the Oly area, but I've had a great psychiatrist for the past 10 years (had wicked post-partum depression after Jacob hatched), she's in the University District in Seattle, takes insurance, is maybe not "gun-friendly" but is "gun-okay", PM me if you'd like her information.

She's not currently accepting brand new patients unless you are referred by a current patient...like, say, me. I see her maybe twice a year, and she does do telephone consults.

kf7mjf wrote:Long story short, depression and PTSD keep getting to me, is there a good shrink in oly area that is gun friendly? Bonus points I'm stuck on shitty state offered obamacare shit.

It's because of all the SFB liberals you have for neighbors.

kf7mjf wrote:

ANZAC wrote:The effects of bullying and abuse last for DECADES. This is one of the things I have learned recently, that even though the bullying stops, the emotional torture doesn't.

The most important thing to understand is that everything that happened was because your abusers were emotionally weak assholes who needed to get off by abusing someone else. It doesn't define who you are. I can tell from your posts that you are a strong and smart person, who has a good moral core.

Yeah, scientifically I dig that, I even have a rough idea of how my brain was shaped and molded during those formative years. I think that knowledge has kept me from really getting worse. It still is a hard thing to struggle with sometimes, and society doesn't always do a good job of accepting the mentally damaged. Thank you for the kind words, it's true, the abuser is the asshole, and sometimes too, perpetuating a cycle they knew. At least I broke that chain. I've never been abusive in relationships, and I've spent more than one night on a couch with a shotgun because somebody's abusive ex was coming around.

Spot on. That last is a clear demonstration of the functional difference between a psychopath and a compassionate person. Worked as a psych RN for years, and my take is that the drugs are worse than the problem but in unusual and extreme conditions. The negative impact on the body is not worth the temporary "feel good".

I've had a couple friends I've stood watch over when they felt threatened by an ex. Made sure the dirtbag knew I was there too and that my friends got and learned how to use a gun.

In both cases, the ex never came back around. I like to think I broke those cycles too.