I hope that was from the Onion.

Seems FL has gone full communist and is shutting down legit capitalist free market enterprises:

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2018/08/31/fl ... -cops.html

Ocala Police said the couple had turned a kitchen window into a drive-thru so customers would not have to constantly enter and exit their home, potentially drawing unwanted attention, WFTV reported. The house had signs directing people where to drive and indicated whether it was open or closed, police said.

A man an two teens go to an Auburn gas-minimart... the teens start grazing on pepperoni sticks, apparently no intending to pay for it, while they watched (their father?) the man pay for whatever goods he was getting...

The clerk confronts the kids asking them to pay... they hem and haw and one pulls out a dollar. The clerk comes around the counter to continue to insist that they pay but as he becomes more agitated, suffers a heart attack or some other health issue... he collapses.

The kids take their money back and then start emptying the store of cigarettes and the money from the til while the clerk lays unconscious on the floor.

The next customers in the door call 911 and the clerk clings to life in the hospital tonight.

https://komonews.com/news/local/teens-r ... erk-to-die

As Hurricane Florence barrels towards the Carolina coast, photos purportedly showing millions of undistributed water bottles meant for Hurricane Maria victims that have been sitting on an airstrip in Puerto Rico for over a year have gone viral on social media.

A CBS News journalist reported that he was told by the Federal Emergency Management Agency on Wednesday that the bottles were brought by FEMA to the island in 2017 after it was battered by the hurricane, but were then turned over to the Puerto Rican government.

The bottles were discovered by a photographer working for a Puerto Rican police agency, Abdiel Santana, who first noticed them about a year ago and saw the water again when he returned to the airport this week. They have sat in Ceiba, Puerto Rico, one of the areas hardest hit by Hurricane Maria, ever since, he said in a Facebook post.

College prof shoots self with gun to protest Trump.

https://www.thetruthaboutguns.com/2018/ ... ent-trump/

Student council members at the University of Wisconsin-Madison are protesting the campus practice of serving ice cream, which often contains beef gelatin, an ingredient that makes the treat inaccessible to members of certain faiths and diets.

“The reasons given for not changing the gelatins, in the name of ‘tradition,’ exclude Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, Jewish, Vegetarian, and Vegan students from partaking in eating the official, campus wide, traditional ice cream that is often listed as part of the ‘Wisconsin experience,'” the legislation reads. “Symbolic issues like these have always and will always play a critical role in whether marginalized students and people feel welcome, included, and connected to their community,” it continues.
Astonishingly, the university already offers gelatin-free ice cream at the university ice cream shop, Babcock Dairy. Additionally, a University of Wisconsin-Madison spokesperson told Campus Reform that the campus already offers more than one ice cream option for students who can’t eat beef gelatin. The campus “produces and sells ‘super premium’ ice cream, sherbet and Greek frozen yogurt options that are made with a plant-based stabilizer and are gelatin-free.” The campus also offers a lactose-free ice cream for those with dairy allergies.

Despite this, the student council has demanded that school officials acknowledge that standard ice cream options marginalize religious students on campus. Ice cream is an iconic part of the culture in dairy-rich Wisconsin, perhaps making it a target for progressives on campus.