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Re: Online dating woes
Posted: Sat Aug 05, 2017 3:39 pm
by MadPick
I get the part about deception ... but not "disclosing" a physical issue of some kind? Really?
Do you disclose any personality flaws (or less-than-perfections) right up front?
Re: Online dating woes
Posted: Sat Aug 05, 2017 3:47 pm
by leadcounsel
MadPick wrote:I get the part about deception ... but not "disclosing" a physical issue of some kind? Really?
Do you disclose any personality flaws (or less-than-perfections) right up front?
Can you elaborate? At what point is it appropriate to inform a suitor you don't have a hand, or you're in a wheel chair, or have serious kidney issues and need dialysis, or you're a recovering alcoholic, or a former meth addict?
To me, these all should come up relatively early and before you decide to take time off and drive to meet someone.
We're not talking about you prefer mustard over mayo, or pie over cake, or baths over showers, or biking instead of running.
Things that are life changing or likely deal breakers for many people should be disclosed early.
Re: Online dating woes
Posted: Sat Aug 05, 2017 3:49 pm
by Guntrader
Knew a gal who had a date with a guy she talked online and on the phone for 6 months.
She met him at a restaurant, he was already there at the table.
During dinner she asked 'wonder whose wheel chair that is by the wall?'
He shrugged.
After dinner he reached over, pulled up the chair and got into it.
Paraplegic.
Now THAT is probably something you should tell your date about beforehand.
MadPick wrote:I get the part about deception ... but not "disclosing" a physical issue of some kind? Really?
Do you disclose any personality flaws (or less-than-perfections) right up front?
Re: Online dating woes
Posted: Sat Aug 05, 2017 3:56 pm
by DONOTBUGME
Met my wife through ok cupid almost 3 years ago. Was on for 2 years before I met her. Just have to keep looking for needle in the hay stack.
Re: Online dating woes
Posted: Sat Aug 05, 2017 4:03 pm
by jukk0u
leadcounsel wrote:MadPick wrote:I get the part about deception ... but not "disclosing" a physical issue of some kind? Really?
Do you disclose any personality flaws (or less-than-perfections) right up front?
Can you elaborate? At what point is it appropriate to inform a suitor you don't have a hand, or you're in a wheel chair, or have serious kidney issues and need dialysis, or you're a recovering alcoholic, or a former meth addict?
To me, these all should come up relatively early and before you decide to take time off and drive to meet someone.
We're not talking about you prefer mustard over mayo, or pie over cake, or baths over showers, or biking instead of running.
Things that are life changing or likely deal breakers for many people should be disclosed early.
Herpes... HPV (warts)... both surprisingly prevalent but how many people don't disclose such intimate details at the onset or during introductions?
Re: Online dating woes
Posted: Sat Aug 05, 2017 4:15 pm
by Guntrader
Heh.
Went out with this gal, were making out on my couch and she had to go to the bathroom, said she had something to tell me when she gotback.
I'm thinking 'used to be a man? OMG, what is it???'
She came back and said 'Well, I cheated and payed the ultimate price.'
I said "What the fuck? You have AIDS?????"
She said 'no, just herpes.'
Re: Online dating woes
Posted: Sat Aug 05, 2017 4:29 pm
by MadPick
leadcounsel wrote:MadPick wrote:I get the part about deception ... but not "disclosing" a physical issue of some kind? Really?
Do you disclose any personality flaws (or less-than-perfections) right up front?
Can you elaborate? At what point is it appropriate to inform a suitor you don't have a hand, or you're in a wheel chair, or have serious kidney issues and need dialysis, or you're a recovering alcoholic, or a former meth addict?
To me, these all should come up relatively early and before you decide to take time off and drive to meet someone.
I guess I don't consider those things to be mandatory disclosures up front, before you ever meet them.
Let's say that you have a short temper, or are a racist, or are intolerant of other cultures, or are a mean drunk . . . do you think those things should be disclosed before you ever meet someone?
I love the original thread, and I appreciated the funny stories. Sorry, I guess I just got a little touchy with a couple of the posts though.
Re: Online dating woes
Posted: Sat Aug 05, 2017 4:31 pm
by Captain90s
Guntrader wrote:Heh.
Went out with this gal, were making out on my couch and she had to go to the bathroom, said she had something to tell me when she gotback.
I'm thinking 'used to be a man? OMG, what is it???'
She came back and said 'Well, I cheated and payed the ultimate price.'
I said "What the fuck? You have AIDS?????"
She said 'no, just herpes.'
Re: Online dating woes
Posted: Sat Aug 05, 2017 4:50 pm
by PMB
Alpine wrote:So glad I don't have to date. It's been 17 years since I had to deal with it.
About the same for me. Even back then I didn't try the online dating thing. Sounds like a rolling nightmare until you either burn out or hit the (rare) jackpot.
Re: Online dating woes
Posted: Sat Aug 05, 2017 5:20 pm
by Mediumrarechicken
MadPick wrote:leadcounsel wrote:MadPick wrote:I get the part about deception ... but not "disclosing" a physical issue of some kind? Really?
Do you disclose any personality flaws (or less-than-perfections) right up front?
Can you elaborate? At what point is it appropriate to inform a suitor you don't have a hand, or you're in a wheel chair, or have serious kidney issues and need dialysis, or you're a recovering alcoholic, or a former meth addict?
To me, these all should come up relatively early and before you decide to take time off and drive to meet someone.
I guess I don't consider those things to be mandatory disclosures up front, before you ever meet them.
Let's say that you have a short temper, or are a racist, or are intolerant of other cultures, or are a mean drunk . . . do you think those things should be disclosed before you ever meet someone?
I love the original thread, and I appreciated the funny stories. Sorry, I guess I just got a little touchy with a couple of the posts though.
Would it be ok for a tranny to not come forward, only to realize during sex that it was once a dude or to tell you afterwards? It's one thing to let someone know that you have a disability or something is wrong with you upfront verses being strung along just to find out there is something out of a person's comfort level or more than they signed up for.
I couldn't be with someone missing a limb, needs a colostomy bag, or a wheel chair. It could be different if it was a friend and over time I realized that that person makes me happy and I'm able to over look the disability. Someone on dialysis should say something too because it's a pretty heavy thing to put on someone, because what happens if they don't get the transplant and end up dying in 6 months. That shits heavy on the heart.
The "oh by the way" shits pretty messed up.
Re: Online dating woes
Posted: Sat Aug 05, 2017 5:32 pm
by AR15L
"oh, by the way" stuff should already be talked about over the phone or in emails.
Not disclosing 'that stuff' is reason to walk.
With disclosing any details, I got burned one time. After that, I was pretty blunt about asking up front. Followed up with an explanation that went something like this:
Don't lie to me because I'll find out sooner or later.
Re: Online dating woes
Posted: Sat Aug 05, 2017 5:47 pm
by MadPick
There are different levels of, "oh, by the way." Yes, if you have a venereal disease or an unexpected variety of genitalia, I would expect that to come up before you get in the sack.
But before meeting? Meh.
All right, let's get back to some funny stories....
Re: Online dating woes
Posted: Sat Aug 05, 2017 5:51 pm
by PTmorgan
It was about 3 years after my divorce, and my mom was hounding me to try internet dating. "But Mom! Really?!" It was funny - she was pushing me.
I tried the free sites first. Got a LOT of responses from men from other countries looking to marry. Although it was easier to ignore requests (for some reason I'd get shy and squeamish), I made it a policy to politely decline in a single post.
One time there was a 19 year old kid looking for a one-night stand. (I was 33 at the time.) He was nice and polite, completely honest. I replied back - "no thanks, we have different goals." He answered and thanked me for responding back - said nobody had been polite enough to answer him. I told him that I had a little brother his age, and I'd tell him the same thing I told my brother: "Be safe out there. I know you feel horny and invincible. Please stay safe. If you are going to do this dangerous behavior, use all the protection you can. Some day you will meet someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, and you'd hate to have to tell her "oh by the way, I have herpes. Are you OK with that?". We swapped a couple posts - he called me "mom".
Then, I noticed that the pay sites attracted people who at least had better grammar. I started on Yahoo Personals. Immediately I got a response from a guy who lived a couple miles away from me. Same age, same goals. Both of us had done martial arts, both of us are pilots. Lots of common interests. We emailed for a month - practically wrote a book with all the emails. Then Sprint offered unlimited long-distance for a fixed price - we spent several hours/day on the phone for another month. (I was in PA for 3 months on temporary assignment - he was back home in CO. I told him on my first email about this.) By this point we were pretty sure we could be good friends. We had to meet in person to see if there was any chemistry for a relationship... Yup, awesome chemistry! We've been married for 12 years, have 2 kids - he's PTHubby on Waguns.
Re: Online dating woes
Posted: Sat Aug 05, 2017 5:52 pm
by Mediumrarechicken
14 years ago before I met the wife i used to hit the Yahoo chat rooms for tail all the time. It was easy as hell to get women, lots of times I'd be banging the same night I started talking to them, like fish in a barrel. I was 18-19 and did it for a year or so, I banged anything from my age to 50 years old I didn't care.
Quite a few ended up being older horny women that had husbands that wouldn't or weren't able to give them attention. I remember one that was like 42, she would call me all the time telling me that she was thinking of me, what she wanted to do ect. I was hookin up with her 5 times a week, she'd take me to a bar where she knew the owner and she'd get me drunk on her dime. She was a lot of fun but she got too clingy, she wanted to meet my parents and my friends, her being more than twice my age I knew my parents would freak out and my friends would give me so much shit, and I didn't want to ruin a marriage.
Lots of chicks would give me their address and the area would be dumpy or a trailer park, so I'd call and ask do you live in xXxX trailer park and I'd say oh ok, that's gross bye, or I'd have her go outside so I could see how trashy she was and I'd just roll by and say nope your too dirty.
Once I messed up big time, it was when I first started meeting women, she wanted to meet me at her work that was a dentist office. So I rolled up and she was outside smoking,she was old like 45 and she was big, like 250 to 300 lbs big. I pulled into the parking lot and I let out a ughhhh, I should have ran with my gut feeling but I didn't because she had huge tits and me being 18 I gave it a shot. She took off her clothes and had these huge was granny panties and a lumpy ass gut. Needless to say I didn't get hard even with all the effort she was putting in. I bail out and feel bad because my little guy wasn't working and that was a first for me. She didn't work at the dentist, she was the cleaner. 6 months or so go by and I'm starting to hang out with a girl that was a little younger than me, we are just friends. I go to her house and meet her mom one day, I'm like ohh shit I'm pretty sure it's that lady. Over the next couple of months I go over to her house and she never says anything to me so I assume she just looks like her. Well I ended up getting drunk with my friend and tag her, when I was leaving her house she says I'll have to tell my mom your dick does work after all. Wtf!!!!
All in all it was pretty fun.... then I met the wife and the fun stopped
Re: Online dating woes
Posted: Sat Aug 05, 2017 6:16 pm
by AR15L
