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 Something tragic happened.....Suicide can affect any of us 
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Location: King County
Joined: Thu Oct 16, 2014
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A year ago the cousin of a friend committed suicide via gun. He was a good guy, sorry to see he was in such pain. I enjoyed camping with him and hanging out around bonfires.

This past weekend my cousin committed suicide with a gun. Again, sorry to see he was in such pain.

What do you say to his family? His parents and sister?


Thu Oct 08, 2020 5:51 pm
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Location: Olympia, WA
Joined: Fri Mar 11, 2011
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Real Name: Dan
Fuck man. I’m sorry for your loss. There are times where no words are even possible.


Thu Oct 08, 2020 6:49 pm
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Location: Tacoma Wa
Joined: Tue Oct 8, 2013
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Real Name: George Bailey
...........

My kid in Basic at FT Jackson lost a fellow recruit the 15th of last month....

Sooooo frikken sad.



I learned of this past Monday, coming back from a parts run, turn the corner of my street to find a blue Gvt. Plated Tahoe had turned in as well.

Cant say I didn't have that stomach knot............



The Tahoe went straight....phew.

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Thu Oct 08, 2020 7:10 pm
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Location: Seattle
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I'm sorry you lost your friend, I know how hard it is. Your friend will be in my prayers...


Thu Oct 08, 2020 10:30 pm
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Location: Downtown Newcastle
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Real Name: Traut
Damn Snozz,.....very sorry.

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Thu Oct 08, 2020 10:33 pm
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Location: Faxon, OK
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Recently two soldiers in basic training were promoted because they recognized the signs that a fellow recruit was going to commit suicide. They intervened saving his life and for their actions got promoted. We need to watch out for each other.

ETA:
1-800-273-TALK

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Fri Oct 09, 2020 2:29 am
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Location: Ohio
Joined: Fri Nov 9, 2012
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Real Name: Sean
I've personally known 2 Soldiers that have taken their own life. One of them I found after he swallowed all of his meds and a bottle of vodka. I will never forget them smell when I walked into his barracks room.
The other one I considered a friend, we were in the same unit and he was junior to me. Took him to the promotion board, where he passed with flying colors. Transferred to another unit 2 months later. One month after that he ended his life with a SOG pocket knife across the jugular.

Neither of them said anything voluntarily. When asked, they replied they were fine.

Help those that need it, get help if you do.

The first Soldier mentioned was ridiculed by the command team for the issues he had, which I think contributed to the action he took. He was being Med-boarded, dealing with TBI, and a divorce. The second one was going through a divorce as well.

I read a statistic somewhere that said divorce was one of the top contributing factors for soldiers taking their own life.

Sad. But most likely true.

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Fri Oct 09, 2020 5:51 am
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Sad to hear about any suicides. As they say, it doesn't end the pain it just gives to many others.

I had a roommate who was in the Army who ended up committing suicide about 2 decades after we shared a house together. She was a very successful, intelligent, beautiful woman who I still don't get why she did it.

I was friends with a guy in the Army and we were the same unit together with our offices on the same hallway, we hung out and drank together, we deployed with the same unit together, we had follow-on assignments in the same job in different SOF units where we went to training together. He was former Army Ranger involved in the Jessica Lynch rescue, and a paratrooper, and then a JAG and a really good dude who hit some hard times I think mostly related to divorce and custody and he put himself out of his misery.

Very tragic, both of these.

I directly intervened and literally saved the life of a Soldier who was 100% committed to and going to jump to his death, by talking him off a tall bridge at 2am. I was the only one who he trusted and could get thru to him. And I referred several suicidal Soldiers to mental health and I'm confident I saved a couple more from it. I feel that was some of the most important stuff I did in my career.

Sometimes it just takes you identifying issues, listening, and being a friend b/c that other person might be suffering in ways we don't often grasp.

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Fri Oct 09, 2020 5:11 pm
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NWGunner wrote:

Having tried to help many folks who were suicidal, and their survivors, I just wanted to share a few things I've learned.  Hopefully, they may help you, or someone else reading.

First, in an effort to help people understand from the perspective of the person suffering from depression...

Please understand, they are in a deep fog.  That doesn't make a lot of sense to anyone who hasn't been depressed, but these aren't 'the blues', as most people experience them.  This is an almost palpable feeling, that never seems to lift. Nearly everyone I've talked to used those exact words, a deep fog...

It's so dense, that nothing is funny, or enjoyable. Kids playing & laughing don't bring a smile, tv shows are no longer funny, and even the sun, usually warm & inviting, is obnoxious & too bright.

In fact, the lack of enjoyment magnifies the fog, and the lack of feeling or attachment to things around you.

People around you try to cheer you up, invite you to do things you like to do, try to get you back into your hobbies, things you used to enjoy...but...there is zero feeling or joy, except for the guilt you feel for troubling people around you that seem happy, except for the inconvenience & angst you feel you are causing everyone having to deal with you.

You try to 'hang in there', and 'fake it 'til you make it', but the fog increases, and the distant feeling seems larger and larger.  You feel like you're in the same room, but in a different realm, and the longer it goes on, the less it feels like it will ever end.

I say all that, because people usually think that suicide is an escape, or a cop-out.

In these situations, it's not.  They just want the cycle of pain, and the fog, which seems un-ending, to end.  Most feel like they are a burden to those that they love, and are trying to love them, and they want to stop being a burden, so others can be happy again.

Another issue can be meds...

SSRI's (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors) and other head meds, can be a double-edged sword.  They can be stabilizing and life-saving, but also dangerous.

Think of it like a see-saw at a playground...the hurting person is sitting on one end, and nothing is on the other, so their end is on the ground, and they are feeling down; the SSRI's gradually weight the other end, and they are now even-keeled & feeling better.

They start thinking they are okay, so, they suddenly stop taking the meds cold-turkey.  Then, it's like Dumbo just jumped off the other end, and they go down hard and fast. That's why the FDA now requires warnings.

Such meds must be weaned off slowly, but when you're feeling good, you think you no longer need them, nor the expensive docs that prescribe them.

So, Gasitman, my brother, I say all that, hoping and praying that in all of that rambling, somewhere in there, you, or someone else, finds a little comfort in knowing that, other than loving & supporting them, there really isn't anything you could have done.  Sometimes, they just want the pain to stop, and nothing else has worked...


Thank you, Steve. This is some of the best, most concise description/info of what it feels like.


Sat Oct 10, 2020 3:02 pm
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