I save up all my real deep hatred over the year for these god damned flea infested flying rats.
If I get the chance to toss one, still alive, into a slow burning fire I do it.

For several years we were Starling Flying Rat free around here because of a nice bounty I placed on their cursed heads... $5 for each fresh shot corpse, $15 if they could assure me that they got both members of a nesting pair. If the flying turds had already hatched their eggs I tossed in another $5 for climbing and digging the whole nest, babies and all, out of the hole and tossing it in the fire too.
I considered paying extra if the kids brought me a still living one so I could see the light of life go dim and flicker out in the fire, but didn't want to risk the kiddos taking a risky shot and losing a kill. (Ok, and I didn't want to reveal to the kids just how cruel I wanted to be to these maggot filled turd birds.)

But somehow the generation(s) of speckled shit birds have let the terror of our property die out after the genocide that was waged against them and they're back this year.
I think it's been 4 years since I have paid out.

I hate to say anything nice at all about these birds that look like a flying piece of squished dog turd, but they are uncommonly smart. You can't go halfway with these little shi*s. It's time to sharpen the machetes, bayonets and make sure the guns are perfectly zeroed in.
Time to fling some lead and board up some demon bird nurseries.

Don't be shy, tell us how you really feel.

Just started to show up at my house last week. I've got 8 of the little bastards rotting in a pile in the back yard so far. Head count should increase if work is slow next week.

A friend of mine used to work for Highline Comm Coll.
They had a problem with pigeons at the classroom at Redondo.
Instead of killing them, (against the law), they started feeding them instead.
Now you ask, 'how's that help?'.
They were feeding them food laced with some kind of sterilization additive.
I'll let you figure out the rest.

Unfortunately he died and I don't think they continued with the project.

Genocide/10

I put up 2 fake owls in my yard and the problem so far has been solved.

Need a belt fed BB gun

Just add an air bottle.
You'll do more damage in five seconds than the insurance company can pay for.

The pair in my back yard dive bombs the dogs, who are too big to care about a little shit bird, and one hit me last week. I've been spraying them with the hose every chance I get so they're not too brave these days.

Dive bomb me in my own backyard?...
They would die in a hail of birdshot and then I would burn them in my trash pile if there was anything left of 'em.
I fuckin' hate Starlings.

How I personally deal with any type of pest.

Glad I am not only one that hates them...

Sent from my LG-D800 using Tapatalk

Normally they are just loud which hasn't bothered me in the past. This was going too far though. I may need to take undisclosed action.

ETA: http://wdfw.wa.gov/living/starlings.html

we had a fig tree at our last house, and they would just swarm it, eat all the figs, drop fig husks everywhere, shit all over the yard all in that same exact spot, and leave nothing behind. if you shoot at them, they fly off to a power line a block over, and a half hour later they're back.

I appreciate this PSA. Read it at work this afternoon, went home to do yard work and promptly found one nesting in a vent under my house. Let's just say that it now sleeps with the moles.