Advice for dealing with gullible family members?

[TechnoWeenie]

*gulp* I'm usually a fairly private person, but I know when I need help...

Background: A couple years ago my mom found out her husband (not my dad) was cheating on her. She lost her house, her job, etc, and moved in with my brother.. My brother got married a couple years prior and his first kid was there so, obviously wasn't gonna work... I invited her to live with me until she got back on her feet.. Well, she moved out here, then promptly got me kicked out of the house I was renting because she would not stop complaining about EVERYTHING to the landlord.. and.. I've pretty much been stuck with her since, because she doesn't make enough money to live by herself and Social Security isn't much either...... and.. it's my mom.. so.. I can't really tell her to fuck off....

So, yes, my mom lives with me.. I DON'T LIVE WITH MY MOTHER!! (lol, SHIT!)

Yeah, I know I'm gonna get shit for that, but there is a difference :-p



So..... My mom, on facebook, apparently went to a suicide helpline page to 'help' some people, and ended up talking this chick out of killing herself, or something....

Turns out, her dad is a seal, her husband that she's not married to is an FBI special agent assigned to NY...and she lives in a trailer park, in Alabama, She never got a picture because he's 'always undercover'.... I called her on it, told her to fuck off and that I was calling the FBI to verify/report her, then her 'husband' died, which of course sucked my mom in (did I say gullible? I really mean it) but not before making her pregnant with triplets, that she's been 'pregnant' with for 6 months....yet still doesn't look pregnant.. The picture of the badge she sent my mom was a stock photo... IOTW, it's complete bullshit.. I mean, I swear to fucking god it's a soap opera script... I called her out a second time and she pulled the 'maybe it's better that I killed myself and not talk to your mom' bullshit, then claimed her trailer caught fire, because the FBI had some hidden agenda and killed her husband too.... (Yeah, total nutcase BS).... Claims her uncle is a district attorney in NYC...

I've called out EVERY fallacy/illogical thing, the fact that she's 'pregnant' with triplets for 6 months but doesn't show a thing.. The fact that the pictures of 'him' that she sent my mom were stock photos, no fire or police dispatches for the time of day the fire supposedly happened (broadcastify is awesome!), no record of any agent by that name anywhere in the country, no record of the name given of the district attorney, and on and on and on... and my mom STILL thinks she's telling the truth.....That there's some vast conspiracy by the FBI to hide all the details.....


On top of that, she made friends with a 'Navy Seal' except, of course, he's not a Navy Seal, and the guy has been called out for it... and I even showed here the NEWS stories where this guy got ran through the ringer for running for city council and trying to claim being a Seal, where he was roasted alive and forced to admit he lied... and my mom doesn't want to admit that he isn't a Seal...

It's like she's built her own little world and nothing will burst her bubble.....

Seems like I've given her MORE than enough facts/evidence, obviously even more so with the SECOND case because there's friggin TV and print news stories, as it was a pretty big deal at the tie, but she won't accept ANY of it...

I have not involved LE yet (other than to verify information) since I don't believe a crime has been committed. They haven't asked for anything so it's not fraud, and the lady herself isn't claiming to be an FBI agent, only that some (imaginary) person is.......AFAIK, she hasn't sent any money/goods to any of them, but now she's talking about moving down to Alabama(!!!) WTF?! Do I need to have her ass committed to prevent her from doing some stupid shit or ?? Having her do her own thing would be nice, but clearly it would put her in a bad spot that I can't let her be in....

[usrifle]

Wow....Is your Mom in her right mind? You may have to get some legal help TW, sounds like she is not making rational decisions and you may have to intervene.
She is being "worked" and may have already been fleeced.
Good luck man, that is a tough situation.

[TechnoWeenie]

Wow....Is your Mom in her right mind?

That's the thing, other than being controlling and a complainer (I believe that's a mom thing, gets worse with age :-p), everything is normal. She does tend to collect/keep things....Ie she was an EMT in MD, and I had to tell her a dozen or so times that her bright neon yellow reflective jacket with EMT on the back and her EMT badge on the front wasn't appropriate outerwear, before she got the hint that WA doesn't give a shit about what MD thinks and she's not an EMT anymore....

I think she's trying to find some way to be helpful or fit in? Feeling like maybe she's helping this chick or something? I'm not a psychologist, I don't know...

She will FREQUENTLY tell everyone/anyone her life story and how her FBI buddy this and her SEAL buddy that.... I even explained PERSEC to her, in regards to vehicles, locations, equipt. etc and LITERALLY 10 mins later she's telling some stranger in line @ grocery store about the generator, 5 ton, how close we live etc etc.. and I ... I think she's just trying to fit in.... that's the feeling I get...

But other than this situation, she's fairly normal...She's only 66....

[SporkBoy]

My mom's crazy, too. Distance.

At some point you will not take anymore and cut your losses. Until then good luck.

[jukk0u]

Go to "Netflix Shows that don't Suck" thread. Look at Guntrader's post about the show "Catfish" about people posing as folks they are not.

Get the show.

Sit down with mom and watch it without saying anything other than you heard it is a good show. Don't mention the show or its relation to her unless she asks and even then let her draw her own conclusions. Always be non-commital and never say "see?!" or "I told you!!!"

Since you're her kid and she's supposed to be the parent, you opinion might not or never carry the weight it should, with her.

Hearing/seeing it from elsewhere may help.

[Guntrader]

If someone is pretending to be a Navy SEAL there are several groups that will track them down, make them apologize and promise not to ever do it again.

If they won't, they out them as frauds to their family, neighbors, coworkers, and employer.
One example:
https://navyseals.com/3247/phony-navy-seal-of-the-week/

[Alpine]

Like the SS financial thing that led Obama to try and take guns away from people, you can get limited control of just her finances if she is still high-functioning. I'd advise you to consult an attorney on that.

[RENCORP]

Send her out to visit Seal Boy, Mommie and the Triplets.

No credit cards, checks, or personal info, just a return ticket.

And, a burner phone to call 911 with.

Other than that, I got nuttin.

[snozzberries]

So, yes, my mom lives with me.. I DON'T LIVE WITH MY MOTHER!! (lol, SHIT!)

but now she's talking about moving down to Alabama(!!!)

Sounds like you found a solution to your problems.

If she has no job, and is living off of SS, then she needs to live someplace with a very low cost of living. That's not Seattle area.

Pick a green state:
https://www.missourieconomy.org/indicat ... of_living/

It would be helpful if she could get a job, even if it has low pay. Something with benefits would be ideal.

I feel that at a certain point people need to take responsibility for their own lives. Typically 18 when you leave home. I'd say things like "Sink or Swim".

[cmica]

on thing quick and fast, get her to call "seal" with speaker phone on... quick questions to him, where was she born, state hospital time favorite color or some shit when she was growing up. if he cant answer within a min "FUCK OFF" not this I'll get back to you in a day or so.


sorry to say if she leaves its out of your hair, get her a pull trailer on a lot.

[mancat]

Only a matter of time until your mom's friend learns her social security number, and yours as well.

[L_O_G]

Create a fake FB profile and see if you get her to bite. String her along, tell her what she wants to hear, then drop it in her lap that it was you.

Maybe then she might get it

[Unicorn]

Family... yeah so fucking what? Accidents of birth. Two people had sex without protection or the protection failed then didn't abort. Relations by blood are no stronger, and really are weaker than relationships by choice. Accident of birth versus choosing someone to be around.
People put so much into familial bonds and it's bullshit. "If he/she wasn't my ______," well just do it.

[cdoniguian]

These sound like possible symptoms of early onset of dementia or other related conditions. If she has not already done so, try and get her evaluated asap. My dad learned to "mask" his condition and it was several years before we discovered that he was struggling with basic day to day issues. He eventually failed to recognize that not everyone who called on the phone, or interacted with him face to face, was sincere. That's when we learned that there was an issue.

[Traut]

I feel for you, Bud. Get medical and psych help for your Mom and possibly counseling for yourself.. There maybe fairly side effect free medications available to help her out. Otherwise, you will have to tough it out on your own which will ruin this part of your life. Don't ask how I know.